An early season heat wave has been sweeping across the USA.
Last week, heat scorched the Great Plains, turning it to desert. The week before, heat baked Alaska, turning it to dessert.
The hot weather has reached the East, where people are sweating buckets. Bruised toes have been reported from falling buckets.
Experts are all over TV with advice on how to cope with the hot weather:
.. Drink fluids to relieve thirst.
.. Seek shade as shelter from the sun.
.. Shed heavier clothing (parkas, overcoats, etc)
.. Older people should let younger people do the shoveling.
Brown-outs are occurring due to high air conditioning use. The electric company has urged customers to turn off their AC during the heat of the day. Units can be turned back on when the temperature cools. Thermostats should be set at 85 to 90 degrees, depending on personal comfort levels.
People are being urged to check their 401K statements – for the chilling effect. Banks are encouraging customers to come in for loans, promising an icy response.
In the blue states, global warming is being blamed. In the red states, the blue states are being blamed.
The weather bureau is promising a normal May. We got a normal May in 1923, so there’s a precedent.
-- Robert Brault
4 comments:
Hilarious, thank you!
"Every survival kit should include a sense of humor." ~Author Unknown
"Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end." ~Sid Caesar
"Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood." ~Mary Hirsch
"The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes." ~William Davis
"Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him." ~Roman Gary
Terri,
Hi, glad you liked. Your humor quotes are great, although I could kick myself for not thinking of them myself. I pop in on you at The Quote Garden every day, finding that most every quote I read kicks off a chain of thought in my own head. As I like to say, "I get my best ideas while someone is saying them into my ear."
smiles,
rb
Oh, I love these.. In particular, the one about the blue states and red states. Ha ha ha.
I wish some of that warm air would come my way... it's a touch chilly!
Daisy
Daisy,
Yes, it sure got cold fast. Most people were probably reading this in their longjohns.
smiles,
rb
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