Doc Wilburn has finally bowed to Mrs. Wilburn’s long-standing desire to put a better face on the practice -- changed his shingle to read HEAD-TO-TOE SPECIALIST.
Pa’s been surveying Mr. Cole’s lawn next door and says there’s always the chance that ours will turn green with envy.
Banker Milhouse admits the economy is depressed, noting that his manic-depressive brother-in-law is half the time smiling and half the time looking like he’s knows something.
Meanwhile, Aunt Cora observes that it’s getting harder and harder to worry needlessly.
Over at the Hatfield’s, Morris reports that Gert is still putting off being happy until such time as she can be happier.
Pastor Ballou was reckoning the other day that for every sinner around here, there’s three repenters.
Ma’s just back from her class reunion, where she says everyone got teary-eyed over the photos from their last class reunion.
Aunt Georgie writes from the city that’s she’s divorced again. Last time it was lipstick on the collar; this time it was lip prints on the mirror.
Congressman Filigrew was over at the general store, hand-shaking. Grandpa says he never saw a fellow with such a knack for obfuscating in plain English.
Cousin Horace is back from a three-day bender. Grandma says the way he treats his body, you’d think he was renting.
Pa’s been advising the neighbor’s boy on a profession, observing that a plumber never looked up a bond trader in the yellow pages.
Uncle Hank says he doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts.
And Ma baked up a rhubarb pie and took it over to Mr. Cobb, the widower down the street. “It was a kindness I’ve been putting off,” she said, “and didn’t seem like putting it off was making it any kinder.”
-- Robert Brault