"Nothing we feel entitled to ever comes to us in sufficient abundance to make us happy."
"We have a choice every day -- to act on yesterday's good intentions or get an early start on tomorrow's regrets."
"A vacation trip is one-third pleasure, fondly remembered, and two-thirds aggravation, entirely forgotten."
"When the government's official pollster gets chased off the front porch with a shotgun, does that count as Approve or Disapprove?"
"I've just completed a state-sponsored therapy program for adults weighed down by the pressures of home and business. For three days, you get to be treated just like a child again. It's called jury duty."
50% Off. No Returns.
"Poets gush about the freshness of early morn, but it's always struck me as much nothing about a dew."
"Porridge is something that in England is eaten and in rural America makes all the lights go out."
"Let's say, for the sake of argument, two people get married -- although why wouldn't they join a debating society."
"Sometimes, opportunities are missed, as when the rabbi, the priest and the minister make it to the lifeboat, but the jokewriter drowns."
-- Robert Brault