"Friends never ask favors of their friendship. They ask favors of each other, making clear that their friendship is not at stake."
"As candidates for the perfect friendship, I picture two people who have emerged from a confessional, are kneeling side by side, and discover that they have been given the same penance."
"Those who cannot appeal to our respect or gratitude will appeal to our loyalty."
"No one appeals to loyalty who can appeal to friendship. And no one appeals to friendship who values friendship. True friends appeal to each other, leaving their friendship off the table, and leaving appeals to loyalty to politicians and scoundrels."
"History is a retrospective in which loyalists are seen as traitors and traitors as founding fathers."
"The Seven Deadly Sins are a litany of victimless crimes, compiled to distract attention from the bloody felonies of the righteous."
"I would rather be at the mercy of the Seven Deadly Sins than the executive arm of the Seven Virtues."
-- Robert Brault
12 comments:
Loyalty in friendship is a given. When you have to appeal to loyalty in the name of friendship it is no longer friendship, but a hostage situation.
Liz, thanks for your comment. I think we agree. I've given a lot of thought to the concept of loyalty and have concluded that it is entirely bogus no matter what the context. If it is not friendship or love or respect or gratitude, then, as you say, it is hostage intimidation masquerading as a virtue. I think an appeal to loyalty is always a cover for some illegitimate claim.
smiles,
rb
These are serious thoughts...I think a true friend would never play the 'loyalty' card. Friendship is a bonding of thought, a unity of spirit...a kinship of sorts. Good friendships are not created, nor continued, through the drawing of lines or limitations. Friends are friends because it feels 'right'.
Great post,
Mattie
Mattie,
I think that every quote you read on friendship is a attempt to explain that sense of feeling "right." And you're spot on in saying that friendship must be free of lines and limitations. Friendship must be freely extended; it is our respite from the obligations of love and duty; and it is doomed when it begins to entail obligation (not to mention loyalty).
smiles,
rb
Well, that really is thought provoking. I think I only have one real friend and it's along the lines Mattie suggests. As a boy I had lots more but still along the same lines.
Ken,
Like Mattie says, it just feels "right." I guess if you have to analyze it, it's not friendship. If two people are at the point of having to consult a "friendship counselor," they might as well go ahead and get married.
smiles,
rb
Robert! That last comment to Ken stands as a quote all on its own: "If two people are at the point of having to consult a "friendship counselor," they might as well go ahead and get married."
I loved it!
Randi,
It's become an obsession -- this quote thing. I can't comment on the weather without feeling that I have to make it quotable. Example: Tonight, at a restaurant, I had a dessert called "Death By Chocolate." When the waiter asked how I liked it, I said, "At best, a near-death experience."
smiles,
rb
wonderful post, very thought provoking.
Marlene -- I like "thought provoking" better than "How true. How true."
smiles,
rb
I don't see loyalty as bogus. Some people are wholesome. They're like that: they do nothing halfway and they definitely stand by their friends, no judgment. Even if that friend does something wrong, they'll lecture that person aside, but in front of the world, they'll stand by their friend. So I think that when you're that kind of person, you'd expect your friend to be THAT loyal too. And if you do have to appeal to that loyalty, it just means you got screwed from the beginning. I am not talking about bargaining one's friendship but I've never seen a person in dire straits who wasn't happy to have someone standing by their side, in the name of friendship. Then, the roles are reversed and guess what? The other one has a way limited meaning of friendship and loyalty because friendship means loyalty
nic thoughts
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