"The smarter the animal, the better it is at pretending to be trained."
"Man is the only trained animal who expects his reward before he does his trick."
"If a rabbit defined intelligence the way man does, then the most intelligent animal would be a rabbit, followed by the animal most willing to obey the commands of a rabbit."
"Man defines intelligence in himself as independence of thought. In all other animals, he defines it as a willingness to follow orders."
"A dog's bark can mean many things, but mostly it means, "Fetch" or "Stay"."
"A dog is much like a married man, obeying his master's voice for the sake of his master's touch."
"Tests show that dolphins are not, after all, smarter than people -- but they're 50% smarter than people would be if people were dolphins."
-- Robert Brault