"I believe in a real, physical world. I figure if the world existed only in my mind, it would pay more attention to me."
As I go through life, my central focus is myself, while all around me the world goes about its business. It seems that I am the center, indeed the epicenter, of the world's inattention.
"I have never stood before one of those three-sided mirrors in a clothing store without wishing there was a button you could push, and a trap door would open, and you would disappear from the face of the earth."
"I'm right-handed, whereas the fellow in my mirror is left-handed. I start shaving from the left; he starts from the right. Differences only in perception, but religious wars have been fought over such."
"Just once I would like to look into my eyes without my eyes looking back into mine."
"I have been in lifelong contention with my conscience, which, truth be known, is worse than I am."
"I've researched my family tree and found no pirates or horse thieves, although there was this one ancestor who was drummed out of Attila's army for conduct unbecoming a Hun. "
-- Robert Brault