"We all play the starring role in our own life story, except for married men, who play the husband."
"Most pessimists would be optimists if it weren't for the rise-and-shine requirement."
"Optimism is to the human spirit what garlic is to the human body -- a cure for just about everything."
"The pessimist observes the optimist and thinks, 'All that happiness for nothing.'"
"Depression: a condition that ends the moment you realize it will."
"As I said to my therapist, if I'm not just a big fat zero, explain the ring around my bathtub."
"They way I look at it, seeing yourself only as a statistic is better than having no self-identity at all."
In the interest of political correctness, I loaded a version of the Bible in my editor and replaced all occurences of the word "man" with "person." So now, would you believe it, theres a verse in Exodus where razor blades rain from the sky. It's Personna from heaven.
-- Robert Brault