"A family toast is the cheerier the more plastic cups."
"You notice, raising a young family, that every day seems to finish up better than it started."
"In a houseful of toddlers and pets, you can start out having a bad day, but you keep getting detoured."
As Mom used to say, "Never be bothered by something you'd be splitting your sides over if it were happening to Lucille Ball."
There are times when, seeing the whole family gathered together at the dinner table, you think,"My God, if this is the whole family, who's been in charge all this time?"
"As to spats with your in-laws, they'd be easier to make up if it weren't for the kissing."
"What with these energy-efficient light bulbs, it now takes a cartoonist four panels to show someone getting a bright idea."
"Whaddya know, all those years they were calling you a dim bulb, they meant you were efficient."
"Either way, things are a lot better -- either a lot better than they were or a lot better than they're going to be. "
"As a gardener, I'm among those who believe that much of the evidence of God's existence has been planted."
"Even the illustrious are laid to rest in such a way as to make the mowing easier."
"Every twenty-four hours Mother Nature looks around and decides to redew."
Heard from the son of a single mom: "The best friend I ever had wasn't trying to be my friend. She was trying to be my dad."
A final thought on family:
"There are days when the family flies off in all directions in the morning, only to reassemble around the dinner table in the evening. A word of advice -- commit those days to memory."
~ Robert Brault