"It's finally happened -- a lawsuit for wrongful doing unto others as you would have them do unto you."
"A child's garden is a triumph of expectation over too much watering."
"To achieve success is just to give your mom something more to worry about."
"I would rather see a friend have success than a relative, because I can always get a new friend."
"To be happy though poor is not only possible but fervently wished for us by our relatives."
"Do I rue a life wasted doing crosswords? Yes, but I do know the three-letter-word for regret."
"It would be nice if people who have you figured out to the last nuance would take a moment to get the first clue."
"I am not your dog, but if every time you saw me, you gave me a backrub, I would run to greet you, too."
"Love thy neighbor, even when his ice cream maker has been going for two hours on his back porch."
"Leash: n, a means by which animals, formerly running wild, are prevented from running tame, also."
"Luck: n, that which happens without discernible cause; e.g., the success of a relative."
"When confronted by a barking dog, never turn tail and run; the dog might mistake this for fear."
"Corporations no longer try to fit square pegs into round holes; they just fit them into square cubicles."
"Every American child can grow up to be anything he wants, and if he wants to be a U.S. Congressman, even growing up is optional."
How to decline an invitation: "I'd love to come. Sounds great. I'll really look forward to it. Wait, Friday?"
And God said to Adam and Eve, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth," whereupon God created the moon, saying "Let there be indirect lighting."
~ Robert Brault
8 comments:
Smiling (because of recent firsthand experience) at the thought about the over-watered child's garden. Amazing how those little wet, wet plants seem to sense the importance of surviving and (better yet), thriving. All for the benefit of a sweet little person who has such faith in the process.
Jan,
You say it more charmingly than I did. Personally, I've always had a special place in my heart for stringbeans, due to remorse, I think, for trying to drown them in my garden as a child.
smiles,
rb
I really needed this humor today. Instead of LOL, is there an acronym for violently slamming my hand against the desk while guffawing raucously?
"It's finally happened -- a lawsuit for wrongful doing unto others as you would have them do unto you." My son used to insist that the Golden Rule was "Do to others whatever they do to you." AKA "The Get Even Rule."
"Do I rue a life wasted doing crosswords? Yes, but I do know the three-letter-word for regret."
This is where the raucous slamming on the desk began. I've loved doing crosswords since childhood, a love spurred on by my mom who would pretend that she didn't get the clue. I even love doing them online. Backspace is so much easier than erase. Three letter word for regret. That was good.
"It would be nice if people who have you figured out to the last nuance would take a moment to get the first clue." Yeah.
"Every American child can grow up to be anything he wants, and if he wants to be a U.S. Congressman, even growing up is optional." Oh, amen. Except that one Congressman. That one with a clue.
"How to decline an invitation: "I'd love to come. Sounds great. I'll really look forward to it. Wait, Friday?" Oh, I have seriously done this! But it's way better than, "Nope, I really have no desire to spend more time with you." Isn't it?
"And God said to Adam and Eve, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth," whereupon God created the moon, saying "Let there be indirect lighting." What a nice God we have. :)
I needed these. Thanks, Robert.
Actually Randi, "Nope, I really have no desire to spend more time with you" is way funnier. I'm definitely going to try that one out for effect.
Your last quote Robert had me laughing as much as the three letter word for regret had me puzzled. Oh! Right, I've got it now, but the last quote is still funny. I'll be telling that one when the family come tommorrow for dinner.
Love thy neighbor, ESPECIALLY when his ice cream maker has been going for two hours on his back porch. (Then hope he invites you over when it's ready!)
Randi,
Thanks for being so appreciative. Often when I come up with a thought and wonder "Will anybody get this?" -- I find myself thinking, "Randi will." And you never disappoint. It's great to think that somebody out there might actually be laughing.
Ken,
I think Randi's line, coming from you, would be hilarious. Something out of Noel Coward. Perhaps I should reword the crossword quip to ask for a 6-letter word for rue. Oh, well -- sometimes a light bulb goes on in your head and sometimes the lighting is more, er, indirect.
Terri,
I love it -- not the first time a thought has popped into my head exactly backwards. Liz was so good at turning them around for me. BTW, earlier this evening, my Google counter logged my 10,000th visit from The Quote Garden, all since June. Can't thank you enough for installing those links.
smiles,
rb
Hi, I have been gone awhile and trying desperatly to get caught up. I enjoyed these quotes and needed the laugh, thank you.
My favorite was the "Do I rue a life wasted doing crosswords? Yes, but I do know the three-letter-word for regret."
I am a very passionate crossword puzzler and going to the leeward side is one of my favorite ways of coping with life.
Marlene,
If "alee" is one-across, then "ahoy" may work for one-down. It's really great to see you again.
smiles,
rb
Post a Comment