"All I know about life is that it was the first thing my mother ever volunteered me for."
"I believe in coincidence but not as a reason for two things happening at the same time."
"The virtuous are always giving nasty names to minor sins. I guess it makes forgiveness more virtuous."
"No couple ever started a family with a well-thought-out exit strategy."
"In most dealings with other people, what you think is true might as well be."
"The most valuable lesson man has learned from his dog is to kick a few blades of grass over it and move on."
"I was born knowing nothing of life and will die knowing nothing of death, hopefully with better results."
"Every description I have ever heard of Purgatory exactly describes Earth."
"I am often overdrawn at my knowledge bank."
"I've learned never to be surprised if what must inevitably happen happens right now."
"I'm the sort of person that reminds people of someone else -- who they'd rather be talking to."
"Often, what seems an impossible climb is just a staircase without the steps drawn in."
"One key to success is to have lunch at the time of day most people have breakfast."
"When I ask a person what he thinks, I don't want to hear from some chip installed in his brain twenty years ago."
"I'm not against promoting self-esteem in kids, but I do have a 9-year-old grandson who still likes to come to my house even though he's never beaten me at chess."
"How old am I? It depends. In terms of this life, I'm in my 71st year. In terms of the next life, I'm in my third trimester."
"The major good any of us can do for our community is to be self-supporting."
"Unless you can divorce your happiness from that of anyone else, you still have a chance to be happy."
~ Robert Brault