"If you pay for it, it's education. If you charge for it, it's know-how."
"A society should reward its teachers, if only for educational purposes."
"There is a difference between teaching and extending ignorance to new subjects."
"We are each the product of a series of chance meetings and unintended consequences called a family tree."
"A family tree is a maze with no way out."
-- Robert Brault
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Heat Wave Strikes USA
An early season heat wave has been sweeping across the USA.
Last week, heat scorched the Great Plains, turning it to desert. The week before, heat baked Alaska, turning it to dessert.
The hot weather has reached the East, where people are sweating buckets. Bruised toes have been reported from falling buckets.
Experts are all over TV with advice on how to cope with the hot weather:
.. Drink fluids to relieve thirst.
.. Seek shade as shelter from the sun.
.. Shed heavier clothing (parkas, overcoats, etc)
.. Older people should let younger people do the shoveling.
Brown-outs are occurring due to high air conditioning use. The electric company has urged customers to turn off their AC during the heat of the day. Units can be turned back on when the temperature cools. Thermostats should be set at 85 to 90 degrees, depending on personal comfort levels.
People are being urged to check their 401K statements – for the chilling effect. Banks are encouraging customers to come in for loans, promising an icy response.
In the blue states, global warming is being blamed. In the red states, the blue states are being blamed.
The weather bureau is promising a normal May. We got a normal May in 1923, so there’s a precedent.
-- Robert Brault
Last week, heat scorched the Great Plains, turning it to desert. The week before, heat baked Alaska, turning it to dessert.
The hot weather has reached the East, where people are sweating buckets. Bruised toes have been reported from falling buckets.
Experts are all over TV with advice on how to cope with the hot weather:
.. Drink fluids to relieve thirst.
.. Seek shade as shelter from the sun.
.. Shed heavier clothing (parkas, overcoats, etc)
.. Older people should let younger people do the shoveling.
Brown-outs are occurring due to high air conditioning use. The electric company has urged customers to turn off their AC during the heat of the day. Units can be turned back on when the temperature cools. Thermostats should be set at 85 to 90 degrees, depending on personal comfort levels.
People are being urged to check their 401K statements – for the chilling effect. Banks are encouraging customers to come in for loans, promising an icy response.
In the blue states, global warming is being blamed. In the red states, the blue states are being blamed.
The weather bureau is promising a normal May. We got a normal May in 1923, so there’s a precedent.
-- Robert Brault
Monday, April 27, 2009
Thoughts on the Pretentious Side
"Reincarnation, in which you go through the trauma of death and come back as someone who doesn't remember you, is unique among theories of an afterlife in being the only one that is not even interesting if true."
"If man were relieved of all superstition, and all prejudice, and had replaced these with a keen sensitivity to his real environment, and moreover had achieved a level of communication so simplified that one syllable could express his every thought, then he would have achieved the level of intelligence already achieved by his dog."
"There is always, in the fine arts, a physical interface between the artist's esthetic vision and the material result he seeks. The interface may be the application of brush to canvas, chisel to marble, bow to string... . It may be the control of voice in song or the control of body in dance. It is the mastery of the interface that comprises the artistry; it is what constitutes the "art" in fine art.
Are you an artist? Look about you. Is there a physical tool whose use you have mastered, a part of your body that responds utterly to your control? Is your motive esthetic? If so, you are an artist. If not, you are probably a writer. "
-- Robert Brault
"If man were relieved of all superstition, and all prejudice, and had replaced these with a keen sensitivity to his real environment, and moreover had achieved a level of communication so simplified that one syllable could express his every thought, then he would have achieved the level of intelligence already achieved by his dog."
"There is always, in the fine arts, a physical interface between the artist's esthetic vision and the material result he seeks. The interface may be the application of brush to canvas, chisel to marble, bow to string... . It may be the control of voice in song or the control of body in dance. It is the mastery of the interface that comprises the artistry; it is what constitutes the "art" in fine art.
Are you an artist? Look about you. Is there a physical tool whose use you have mastered, a part of your body that responds utterly to your control? Is your motive esthetic? If so, you are an artist. If not, you are probably a writer. "
-- Robert Brault
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Thoughts on This, That and Photography
"A gourmet restaurant is where you can get a 7-course dinner, each course 1/10 of an adequate meal."
"What you learn in your senior years is that happiness exists only in bringing happiness to others -- and golf."
"A commuter tie-up consists of you -- and people who for some reason won't use public transit."
"The road sign that applies most to life itself: EXPECT DELAYS.
"A great photographer can get a sunset to say cheese."
"A photographer is willing to wait as long as it takes for a hyperactive scene to compose itself."
"Life is lived in vignettes but understood in frames."
-- Robert Brault
"What you learn in your senior years is that happiness exists only in bringing happiness to others -- and golf."
"A commuter tie-up consists of you -- and people who for some reason won't use public transit."
"The road sign that applies most to life itself: EXPECT DELAYS.
"A great photographer can get a sunset to say cheese."
"A photographer is willing to wait as long as it takes for a hyperactive scene to compose itself."
"Life is lived in vignettes but understood in frames."
-- Robert Brault
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thoughts on Home and Family
"It is not in the DNA of siblings to share anything with each other, except, in a pinch, their bone marrow."
"There is a strong chance that siblings who turn out well were hassled by the same parents."
"In childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking out. In memories of childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking in."
"It seems never to occur to us to seek happiness among those who wish it for us."
"If you have a dad, you have a hope, and if you have a mom, you have a prayer."
-- Robert Brault
"There is a strong chance that siblings who turn out well were hassled by the same parents."
"In childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking out. In memories of childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking in."
"It seems never to occur to us to seek happiness among those who wish it for us."
"If you have a dad, you have a hope, and if you have a mom, you have a prayer."
-- Robert Brault
Friday, April 24, 2009
Jessie's Piece
The following poem is fanciful (There is no Jessie, in reality). It reflects a philosophy that I find personally appealing – the idea of a “universal crazy quilt”, stitched together from each and every life, however short the life, however sized or shaped or colored -- each life a unique patch.
JESSIE’S PIECE
The world’s a jigsaw, once I thought,
With each of us a piece to fit,
A predetermined Grand Design
And each of us a part of it.
I thought that God must surely have
A blueprint of His final goal,
And all who come into this life
Are meant to play some fated role.
But when my little Jessie died,
It seemed to me but sheer caprice.
Where fits a child in God’s design
Who never lived to add her piece?
How often did I walk alone
To still the anguish in my heart,
To ask why God would make a plan
In which my child had no part.
One day, upon a village square,
I happened by a tiny shop.
What random step had led me there?
What in the window made me stop?
It was a quilt, a crazy quilt,
Each piece a brightly-colored patch,
A joyful, glowing work of art
From scraps you’d think would never match.
I looked upon the quilt in awe
To think a thing so oddly fine
Was stitched from fragments never made
To fit to anyone’s design.
I wondered then if God might wish
That in this way His world be built,
Each life a motley-colored scrap,
And He the weaver of the quilt.
If such be true, I realize,
My child’s life, though short it be,
Is yet a joyful, shining patch
In God’s eternal tapestry.
I looked upon the quilt and saw
A patch that seemed but sheer caprice,
So whimsical it made me smile.
I knew it was my Jessie's piece.
--by Robert Brault
JESSIE’S PIECE
The world’s a jigsaw, once I thought,
With each of us a piece to fit,
A predetermined Grand Design
And each of us a part of it.
I thought that God must surely have
A blueprint of His final goal,
And all who come into this life
Are meant to play some fated role.
But when my little Jessie died,
It seemed to me but sheer caprice.
Where fits a child in God’s design
Who never lived to add her piece?
How often did I walk alone
To still the anguish in my heart,
To ask why God would make a plan
In which my child had no part.
One day, upon a village square,
I happened by a tiny shop.
What random step had led me there?
What in the window made me stop?
It was a quilt, a crazy quilt,
Each piece a brightly-colored patch,
A joyful, glowing work of art
From scraps you’d think would never match.
I looked upon the quilt in awe
To think a thing so oddly fine
Was stitched from fragments never made
To fit to anyone’s design.
I wondered then if God might wish
That in this way His world be built,
Each life a motley-colored scrap,
And He the weaver of the quilt.
If such be true, I realize,
My child’s life, though short it be,
Is yet a joyful, shining patch
In God’s eternal tapestry.
I looked upon the quilt and saw
A patch that seemed but sheer caprice,
So whimsical it made me smile.
I knew it was my Jessie's piece.
--by Robert Brault
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A Few Chuckles from Family Weekly
For years I contributed to the “Quips & Quotes” page of Family Weekly, a Sunday newspaper magazine distributed in the USA. Below a few samples.
A lady complained to a pet-store owner, “You told me this cat wasn’t finicky, but I can’t get her to eat.” The owner said, “I meant about what she drags in.”
Watchdog owner to veterinarian: “It’s the strangest thing -- every time I shout ‘Sic’ he goes to sleep.” Vet: “Ah, yes – sicking sleepness.”
My wife sympathizes with Eve. “What would you have done,” she says, “if every night your husband complained, ‘Oranges again!’”
Weight Watcher: “The last straw was when someone called my daughter ‘a chick off the old blop.’”
Since three out of four small businesses fail, my brother-in-law did the logical thing – started a large business.
Nowadays you envy a manic-depressive. Half the time he’s happy, the other half he’s right.
-- Robert Brault in Family Weekly
A lady complained to a pet-store owner, “You told me this cat wasn’t finicky, but I can’t get her to eat.” The owner said, “I meant about what she drags in.”
Watchdog owner to veterinarian: “It’s the strangest thing -- every time I shout ‘Sic’ he goes to sleep.” Vet: “Ah, yes – sicking sleepness.”
My wife sympathizes with Eve. “What would you have done,” she says, “if every night your husband complained, ‘Oranges again!’”
Weight Watcher: “The last straw was when someone called my daughter ‘a chick off the old blop.’”
Since three out of four small businesses fail, my brother-in-law did the logical thing – started a large business.
Nowadays you envy a manic-depressive. Half the time he’s happy, the other half he’s right.
-- Robert Brault in Family Weekly
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
More Thoughts on the Married Life
"It is only happiness if it is inseparable from someone else's happiness."
"A good marriage is each for the other and two against the world."
"There comes a time when a man and woman realize that their separate schemes can be better achieved as a conspiracy."
"In marriage, a man and a woman become one, constituting for the woman, self-fulfillment; for the man, self-improvement."
"Marriage is the unforeseen consequence of marrying for love."
-- Robert Brault
"A good marriage is each for the other and two against the world."
"There comes a time when a man and woman realize that their separate schemes can be better achieved as a conspiracy."
"In marriage, a man and a woman become one, constituting for the woman, self-fulfillment; for the man, self-improvement."
"Marriage is the unforeseen consequence of marrying for love."
-- Robert Brault
Ten Ways to Ace Your Judgment Day Interview
1. Be on time.
2. Tell the Lord you've heard a lot about heaven and like what you hear.
3. Be neat, alert, make direct eye contact.
4. Don't stare at the facial hair.
5. When the Lord speaks, lean forward, act interested.
6. Be familiar with the Lord's background. ("I really liked your Ten Commandments.")
7. Be clear on where you want to be in five years.
8. Be honest about personal flaws. ("I tend to be too forgiving.")
9. Do not hesitate to underscore qualifications. ("I go to church every Easter.")
10. Make it clear that you'll accept the standard benefits package.
-- Robert Brault
2. Tell the Lord you've heard a lot about heaven and like what you hear.
3. Be neat, alert, make direct eye contact.
4. Don't stare at the facial hair.
5. When the Lord speaks, lean forward, act interested.
6. Be familiar with the Lord's background. ("I really liked your Ten Commandments.")
7. Be clear on where you want to be in five years.
8. Be honest about personal flaws. ("I tend to be too forgiving.")
9. Do not hesitate to underscore qualifications. ("I go to church every Easter.")
10. Make it clear that you'll accept the standard benefits package.
-- Robert Brault
Monday, April 20, 2009
Thoughts on Politics
"The difference between science and politics is that science experiments on guinea pigs."
"You can fool some of the people all of the time, also known as a base constituency."
"In fairness, not all politicians leave office richer than when they went in. Some are still in office."
"Politicians follow a simple rule. If there's no proof, deny it. And if proof turns up, deny you denied it."
"Washington D.C. Classified: Unaffiliated Hack Seeks Party."
-- Robert Brault
"You can fool some of the people all of the time, also known as a base constituency."
"In fairness, not all politicians leave office richer than when they went in. Some are still in office."
"Politicians follow a simple rule. If there's no proof, deny it. And if proof turns up, deny you denied it."
"Washington D.C. Classified: Unaffiliated Hack Seeks Party."
-- Robert Brault
Thoughts on Highway Driving
"ROAD WORK NEXT 10 MILES" means that you are approaching a median area where unmanned construction equipment is parked so that speeding fines may be doubled.
Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional.
Highway sign you will never see: "INEXPLICABLE DEAD STOP AHEAD."
For every "DRIVE SAFELY" sign, shouldn't there be a "RESUME NORMAL DRIVING" sign?
The four words most likely to be heard from the passenger's seat from someone looking up from her knitting: "Wasn't that our exit?"
-- Robert Brault
Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional.
Highway sign you will never see: "INEXPLICABLE DEAD STOP AHEAD."
For every "DRIVE SAFELY" sign, shouldn't there be a "RESUME NORMAL DRIVING" sign?
The four words most likely to be heard from the passenger's seat from someone looking up from her knitting: "Wasn't that our exit?"
-- Robert Brault
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Thoughts on Art and Artists
"A successful artist is inspired by his muse, and his muse is inspired by the payment of a commission."
"A painting is what you make of it, besides which, 'Moon, Weeping' has a better ring to it than 'Paintbrush, Dripping.'"
"If an artist has talent, he needs no other critic."
"The painter puts brush to canvas, and the poet puts pen to paper. The poet has the easier task, for his pen does not alter his rhyme."
"You can think of a painter as a trio -- the artist, his talent and his muse, the last two always on the lookout for a new brush man."
-- Robert Brault
"A painting is what you make of it, besides which, 'Moon, Weeping' has a better ring to it than 'Paintbrush, Dripping.'"
"If an artist has talent, he needs no other critic."
"The painter puts brush to canvas, and the poet puts pen to paper. The poet has the easier task, for his pen does not alter his rhyme."
"You can think of a painter as a trio -- the artist, his talent and his muse, the last two always on the lookout for a new brush man."
-- Robert Brault
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thoughts on the Shining Moment of Susan Boyle
There is an outer beauty that turns your glance, and there is an inner beauty that breaks your heart.
Is there a glamour princess today who is not looking for a voice makeover?
One dream is realized, and twenty million other dreams are fetched from the closet, dusted off and tried on again for size -- and the frumpier the better.
Possibly we overrate Miss Boyle's accomplishment, for what has she proved but that an individual can aspire, that a cheerful perseverance can prevail, that an imprisoning mold can be cast off and that life, after all, can be fair.
Is it a sin to share vicariously the shining moment of another? Hardly, for the triumph of one underdog is a triumph for the species. To paraphrase the poet, Send not to know for whom the crowd cheers, it cheers for thee.
Thank you, Susan Boyle.
-- Robert Brault
Is there a glamour princess today who is not looking for a voice makeover?
One dream is realized, and twenty million other dreams are fetched from the closet, dusted off and tried on again for size -- and the frumpier the better.
Possibly we overrate Miss Boyle's accomplishment, for what has she proved but that an individual can aspire, that a cheerful perseverance can prevail, that an imprisoning mold can be cast off and that life, after all, can be fair.
Is it a sin to share vicariously the shining moment of another? Hardly, for the triumph of one underdog is a triumph for the species. To paraphrase the poet, Send not to know for whom the crowd cheers, it cheers for thee.
Thank you, Susan Boyle.
-- Robert Brault
Thoughts on the Light Side
"To live a long and healthy life, invite ardor into your heart, also known as ardoring of the hearteries."
"Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it."
"On the sixth day God created man, an action now under review by the Environmental Protection Agency."
"In nearly all embarrassing situations, a graceful exit is 10% grace and 90% exit."
"People are law abiding. The other day the crossing signal flashed DONT ALK. We all crossed and not one of us alked."
-- Robert Brault
"Man is the only animal who enjoys the consolation of believing in a next life; all other animals enjoy the consolation of not worrying about it."
"On the sixth day God created man, an action now under review by the Environmental Protection Agency."
"In nearly all embarrassing situations, a graceful exit is 10% grace and 90% exit."
"People are law abiding. The other day the crossing signal flashed DONT ALK. We all crossed and not one of us alked."
-- Robert Brault
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Thoughts on Success and Achievement
To succeed, we must first give up the safety net of low expectations.
Success is a tale of obstacles overcome, and for every obstacle overcome, an excuse not used.
Where the loser saw barriers, the winner saw hurdles.
There is time in life for more than one dream.
Try to discover
The road to success
And you'll seek but never find,
But blaze your own path
And the road to success
Will trail right behind.
-- Robert Brault
Success is a tale of obstacles overcome, and for every obstacle overcome, an excuse not used.
Where the loser saw barriers, the winner saw hurdles.
There is time in life for more than one dream.
Try to discover
The road to success
And you'll seek but never find,
But blaze your own path
And the road to success
Will trail right behind.
-- Robert Brault
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Thoughts on the Art of Flattery
It is hard to resist a flatterer who gets it right.
The only reason flattery gets you nowhere is because you always leave something out.
We forgive a flatterer every sin but the sin of omission.
Flattery is a case of hating the sinner, loving the sin.
As much as a flatterer irritates, you can't help forgiving someone so obviously dedicated to the truth.
A skillful flatterer not only says all the right words but knows exactly which ones to put in bold italics.
-- Robert Brault
The only reason flattery gets you nowhere is because you always leave something out.
We forgive a flatterer every sin but the sin of omission.
Flattery is a case of hating the sinner, loving the sin.
As much as a flatterer irritates, you can't help forgiving someone so obviously dedicated to the truth.
A skillful flatterer not only says all the right words but knows exactly which ones to put in bold italics.
-- Robert Brault
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
More Notes from Back Home
Doc Wilburn has finally bowed to Mrs. Wilburn’s long-standing desire to put a better face on the practice -- changed his shingle to read HEAD-TO-TOE SPECIALIST.
Pa’s been surveying Mr. Cole’s lawn next door and says there’s always the chance that ours will turn green with envy.
Banker Milhouse admits the economy is depressed, noting that his manic-depressive brother-in-law is half the time smiling and half the time looking like he’s knows something.
.
Meanwhile, Aunt Cora observes that it’s getting harder and harder to worry needlessly.
Over at the Hatfield’s, Morris reports that Gert is still putting off being happy until such time as she can be happier.
Pastor Ballou was reckoning the other day that for every sinner around here, there’s three repenters.
Ma’s just back from her class reunion, where she says everyone got teary-eyed over the photos from their last class reunion.
Aunt Georgie writes from the city that’s she’s divorced again. Last time it was lipstick on the collar; this time it was lip prints on the mirror.
Congressman Filigrew was over at the general store, hand-shaking. Grandpa says he never saw a fellow with such a knack for obfuscating in plain English.
Cousin Horace is back from a three-day bender. Grandma says the way he treats his body, you’d think he was renting.
Pa’s been advising the neighbor’s boy on a profession, observing that a plumber never looked up a bond trader in the yellow pages.
Uncle Hank says he doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts.
And Ma baked up a rhubarb pie and took it over to Mr. Cobb, the widower down the street. “It was a kindness I’ve been putting off,” she said, “and didn’t seem like putting it off was making it any kinder.”
-- Robert Brault
Pa’s been surveying Mr. Cole’s lawn next door and says there’s always the chance that ours will turn green with envy.
Banker Milhouse admits the economy is depressed, noting that his manic-depressive brother-in-law is half the time smiling and half the time looking like he’s knows something.
.
Meanwhile, Aunt Cora observes that it’s getting harder and harder to worry needlessly.
Over at the Hatfield’s, Morris reports that Gert is still putting off being happy until such time as she can be happier.
Pastor Ballou was reckoning the other day that for every sinner around here, there’s three repenters.
Ma’s just back from her class reunion, where she says everyone got teary-eyed over the photos from their last class reunion.
Aunt Georgie writes from the city that’s she’s divorced again. Last time it was lipstick on the collar; this time it was lip prints on the mirror.
Congressman Filigrew was over at the general store, hand-shaking. Grandpa says he never saw a fellow with such a knack for obfuscating in plain English.
Cousin Horace is back from a three-day bender. Grandma says the way he treats his body, you’d think he was renting.
Pa’s been advising the neighbor’s boy on a profession, observing that a plumber never looked up a bond trader in the yellow pages.
Uncle Hank says he doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts.
And Ma baked up a rhubarb pie and took it over to Mr. Cobb, the widower down the street. “It was a kindness I’ve been putting off,” she said, “and didn’t seem like putting it off was making it any kinder.”
-- Robert Brault
Monday, April 13, 2009
Thoughts on Art and Creativity
Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp, said Browning, and so it has -- extended by the length of an artist's brush.
The artist uses the talent he has, wishing he had more talent. The talent uses the artist it has, wishing it had more artist.
Sometimes, to pursue a new idea, the artist must forfeit his deposit on an old idea.
The artist’s talent sits uneasy as an object of public acclaim, having been so long an object of private despair.
-- Robert Brault
The artist uses the talent he has, wishing he had more talent. The talent uses the artist it has, wishing it had more artist.
Sometimes, to pursue a new idea, the artist must forfeit his deposit on an old idea.
The artist’s talent sits uneasy as an object of public acclaim, having been so long an object of private despair.
-- Robert Brault
How to Succeed, Partial Index
barriers, see hurdles
course
… daring to change, p. 100
… steadfastly holding, p.200
criticism
… offered, pp. 1,5,10,16…
… filed, pp. 1,5,10,16…
excuses
… available, pp 1,2,3,4,5...
… not used, pp. 1,2,3,4,5...
failures
… acknowledged, pp. 1,2,3,4,5 …
… used as stepping stone, pp. 1,2,3,4,5…
… lost count of p. 400
goals met
... partially, pp. 250, 400...
... totally, see partially
paths followed, see trails blazed
self-doubt,
… voiced, p.199
… addressed, p. 200, see course
stupid question
… asked, p. 99
… addressed, p. 100, see course
-- Robert Brault
course
… daring to change, p. 100
… steadfastly holding, p.200
criticism
… offered, pp. 1,5,10,16…
… filed, pp. 1,5,10,16…
excuses
… available, pp 1,2,3,4,5...
… not used, pp. 1,2,3,4,5...
failures
… acknowledged, pp. 1,2,3,4,5 …
… used as stepping stone, pp. 1,2,3,4,5…
… lost count of p. 400
goals met
... partially, pp. 250, 400...
... totally, see partially
paths followed, see trails blazed
self-doubt,
… voiced, p.199
… addressed, p. 200, see course
stupid question
… asked, p. 99
… addressed, p. 100, see course
-- Robert Brault
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Poetic Words From a Friend
May I refer you, this Easter morn, to some poetic words written by a friend.
Although not written of Easter, they remind us, as Easter does, that "heaven catches unaware those blinded by despair" and that sometimes there comes to us, as "a breath of heaven" a day "when the world sits just right." Thanks, Mattie.
Mattie Elliott's A Breath of Heaven
Although not written of Easter, they remind us, as Easter does, that "heaven catches unaware those blinded by despair" and that sometimes there comes to us, as "a breath of heaven" a day "when the world sits just right." Thanks, Mattie.
Mattie Elliott's A Breath of Heaven
Saturday, April 11, 2009
When Death Comes For Us
When death come for us,
may our lives be already safely stored away
in the minds and hearts and memories of those we have loved,
and in the happiness and well-being of all we have helped,
and may death find no life to take from us
but shuffle off defeated,
having relieved us only of our dying.
-- Robert Brault
may our lives be already safely stored away
in the minds and hearts and memories of those we have loved,
and in the happiness and well-being of all we have helped,
and may death find no life to take from us
but shuffle off defeated,
having relieved us only of our dying.
-- Robert Brault
Friday, April 10, 2009
Thoughts Off the Top of my Head
"A blogger believes that if you build it they will come, forgetting that you have to build it in a cornfield."
"It is not a stupid question if it gets a stupid answer."
"Massage is the only form of physical pleasure to which nature forgot to attach consequences."
"Most people would rather defend to the death your right to say it than listen to it."
"Don't know about yours, but my psychoanalyst charges only $25 a session, and he not only gives advice, he cuts hair."
-- Robert Brault
"It is not a stupid question if it gets a stupid answer."
"Massage is the only form of physical pleasure to which nature forgot to attach consequences."
"Most people would rather defend to the death your right to say it than listen to it."
"Don't know about yours, but my psychoanalyst charges only $25 a session, and he not only gives advice, he cuts hair."
-- Robert Brault
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Notes from Back Home
The recession has hit home. Over at Mort's Diner, they say that not only is business down but folks are finishing up their cole slaw.
Otherwise, all's normal. Aunt Cora's been making the rounds of the spring tag sales, stocking up on items for her summer tag sale.
Pa's been complaining about the upcoming hike in postal rates. "It's finally happened," he said, "a first class stamp is too valuable to risk sending through the mail."
Ma's wondering, "Is it my imagination, or does shipping and handling settle a box of crackers more than it used to?"
Granddad's been recalling the days when you could make it from car to kitchen before the grocery bag disintegrated. Back then, he says, they made everything double-strength and didn't even know it.
Grandma observes that she has never photographed well and lately hasn't been reflecting all that well in mirrors.
Over at Alf's Used Car Mecca they're advertising a 5-star beaut that was last owned by a doctor who used it only on house calls.
At town hall, they're debating whether to do a two-a-day pickup on the 911 P.O. Box.
Meanwhile, Junior came home from school all glum-faced to say, "I lost the spelling cee."
Cousin Ben reports that wife Maebelle's crash diet is advancing steadily through the planning stages.
Aunt Rose reports that she's stopped buying outfits she plans to diet into -- says the skeleton in her closet is completely outfitted.
The regulars over at the general store pooled wits and came up with an idea. Name the season's first hurricane Zelda and fool Mother Nature into calling it a year.
Aunt Cora says Uncle Hank is almost to the stage where he can point and click without moving his lips.
And Zack Wormsley reports that his 1:00 PM flight out of County Airport took off a 3:45, listed ON TIME. Said Zack, "I guess they reckon one is a quarter of four."
-- Robert Brault
Otherwise, all's normal. Aunt Cora's been making the rounds of the spring tag sales, stocking up on items for her summer tag sale.
Pa's been complaining about the upcoming hike in postal rates. "It's finally happened," he said, "a first class stamp is too valuable to risk sending through the mail."
Ma's wondering, "Is it my imagination, or does shipping and handling settle a box of crackers more than it used to?"
Granddad's been recalling the days when you could make it from car to kitchen before the grocery bag disintegrated. Back then, he says, they made everything double-strength and didn't even know it.
Grandma observes that she has never photographed well and lately hasn't been reflecting all that well in mirrors.
Over at Alf's Used Car Mecca they're advertising a 5-star beaut that was last owned by a doctor who used it only on house calls.
At town hall, they're debating whether to do a two-a-day pickup on the 911 P.O. Box.
Meanwhile, Junior came home from school all glum-faced to say, "I lost the spelling cee."
Cousin Ben reports that wife Maebelle's crash diet is advancing steadily through the planning stages.
Aunt Rose reports that she's stopped buying outfits she plans to diet into -- says the skeleton in her closet is completely outfitted.
The regulars over at the general store pooled wits and came up with an idea. Name the season's first hurricane Zelda and fool Mother Nature into calling it a year.
Aunt Cora says Uncle Hank is almost to the stage where he can point and click without moving his lips.
And Zack Wormsley reports that his 1:00 PM flight out of County Airport took off a 3:45, listed ON TIME. Said Zack, "I guess they reckon one is a quarter of four."
-- Robert Brault
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Thoughts on Parenting
"A parent's love is whole no matter how many times divided."
"No child is anyone else's second chance."
"One should not confuse parenthood with reincarnation."
"We tend to give leeway to our first-born, knowing he/she is the one we practiced on."
"For every person you can trust, there was first a child who was trusted."
"No child is anyone else's second chance."
"One should not confuse parenthood with reincarnation."
"We tend to give leeway to our first-born, knowing he/she is the one we practiced on."
"For every person you can trust, there was first a child who was trusted."
Monday, April 6, 2009
Thoughts on the Existence of a Creator
"There are signs everywhere of the existence of God and signs nowhere of the existence of Chance."
"If Creation were a crime, would not God be the prime suspect?"
"If a CSI team studied the evidence of Creation, would they conclude that the crime committed itself?"
"Einstein said, "God does not play dice with the world," which leaves open the alternative that science has chosen to explore -- that the dice roll themselves."
"There is no doubt that the Creator left behind clues to His identity. Question is, does He wish to be found -- or stopped."
"Cosmology is a religion whose four evangelists -- Galileo, Copernicus, Newton and Einstein -- tell different versions."
-- Robert Brault
"If Creation were a crime, would not God be the prime suspect?"
"If a CSI team studied the evidence of Creation, would they conclude that the crime committed itself?"
"Einstein said, "God does not play dice with the world," which leaves open the alternative that science has chosen to explore -- that the dice roll themselves."
"There is no doubt that the Creator left behind clues to His identity. Question is, does He wish to be found -- or stopped."
"Cosmology is a religion whose four evangelists -- Galileo, Copernicus, Newton and Einstein -- tell different versions."
-- Robert Brault
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Thoughts on Human Relationships
"Being loved by all is little fun / Unless you're also loved by one."
"A true friend stands in your shadow and thinks it shade."
"Judge kindly the person whose shadow you have never cast."
"In the end, all hope lies in the smile we exchange with a young mother strolling her baby."
"Nothing is more often confused with kindness than simple humanity."
-- Robert Brault
"A true friend stands in your shadow and thinks it shade."
"Judge kindly the person whose shadow you have never cast."
"In the end, all hope lies in the smile we exchange with a young mother strolling her baby."
"Nothing is more often confused with kindness than simple humanity."
-- Robert Brault
Thoughts on Married Life
Sometimes a couple needs to step apart
and make a space between
that each might see the other anew --
in a glance across a room
or silhouetted against the moon.
************
I saw by the duck pond
an elderly couple throwing crumbs on the water,
close against each other,
thinking each other's thoughts,
casting each other's shadow,
and I wondered --
which was the great love
and which the acquired taste that became an addiction.
and make a space between
that each might see the other anew --
in a glance across a room
or silhouetted against the moon.
************
I saw by the duck pond
an elderly couple throwing crumbs on the water,
close against each other,
thinking each other's thoughts,
casting each other's shadow,
and I wondered --
which was the great love
and which the acquired taste that became an addiction.
-- Robert Brault
Friday, April 3, 2009
In Marriage, It's Whatever Works
On their golden wedding anniversary, a couple was asked to account for their long and happy marriage. The husband said, "I try never to be selfish. After all, there is no 'I' in the word marriage."
The wife said, "For my part, I never correct my husband's spelling."
-- Robert Brault in Reader's Digest
The wife said, "For my part, I never correct my husband's spelling."
-- Robert Brault in Reader's Digest
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Thoughts on Conquering Shyness
Thoughts after reading Randi’s Conquering Shyness (You'll Enjoy!)
"The shy and the extroverted have this in common -- that they both fancy they are the center of attention."
"Dare to be imperfect, and one day there will tug at your sleeve a soulmate."
"If we would see others as they see themselves, our shyness would soon become compassion."
"Be thoughtful of others and you will not be shy, for they are incompatible addictions."
"Lend, by your imperfections, self-esteem to others, and you will be invited everywhere."
-- Robert Brault
"The shy and the extroverted have this in common -- that they both fancy they are the center of attention."
"Dare to be imperfect, and one day there will tug at your sleeve a soulmate."
"If we would see others as they see themselves, our shyness would soon become compassion."
"Be thoughtful of others and you will not be shy, for they are incompatible addictions."
"Lend, by your imperfections, self-esteem to others, and you will be invited everywhere."
-- Robert Brault
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Thoughts on Our Animal Friends
"Animals are without sin and yet have never cast a stone."
"Having been expelled from paradise, animals must wonder when they get to eat the forbidden fruit."
"The way I look at it, my dog talks. He just has trouble enunciating."
"Only man could behold a lion and say to himself, 'Yup, I'm the one made in God's image.'"
"For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends."
-- Robert Brault
"Having been expelled from paradise, animals must wonder when they get to eat the forbidden fruit."
"The way I look at it, my dog talks. He just has trouble enunciating."
"Only man could behold a lion and say to himself, 'Yup, I'm the one made in God's image.'"
"For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends."
-- Robert Brault
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