"A blog is a message in a bottle, both in purpose and likely readership."
"Blogs seem to have two magnetic poles, one attracting friends, the other repulsing relatives."
"If you think that no one respects your privacy, start a blog."
"A blog archive is safe storage for such things as old thoughts and atomic secrets."
"A blogger is constantly looking over his shoulder, for fear that he is not being followed."
"There are blogs whose only comment is, "Have you seen Dr. Livingstone? Signed, Stanley."
"A blogger is an average person who happens to have a need to count his friends every half hour."
-- Robert Brault
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thoughts for a Light-Hearted Weekend
"It's important to be your own friend, especially on days when you wouldn't care to make your own acquaintance."
"The difference between a friend and a relative is that the friend doesn't assume it's your fault when you have an accident."
"Meanwhile, in the ongoing quest to find myself, I have called off the search and begun a recovery operation."
"Parenthood is the passing of a baton, best timed to when the kid has his hand out for the car keys."
"People are resilient. After all, every person born has recovered from nine months on life support."
"There are some people you're sure are going to h*ll because, let's face it, it wouldn't be h*ll without them."
"And as per the Equal Asterisks Act, some people are going to h*aven, because it wouldn't be h*aven without them."
-- Robert Brault
"The difference between a friend and a relative is that the friend doesn't assume it's your fault when you have an accident."
"Meanwhile, in the ongoing quest to find myself, I have called off the search and begun a recovery operation."
"Parenthood is the passing of a baton, best timed to when the kid has his hand out for the car keys."
"People are resilient. After all, every person born has recovered from nine months on life support."
"There are some people you're sure are going to h*ll because, let's face it, it wouldn't be h*ll without them."
"And as per the Equal Asterisks Act, some people are going to h*aven, because it wouldn't be h*aven without them."
-- Robert Brault
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thoughts on Self-Awareness
"To know that anyone, man or animal, lives in fear of us is a state intolerable to a decent person."
"To inspire awe in anyone should serve to inspire embarrassment in ourselves."
"The first thing to suspect in people who admire us is poor judgment."
"The best thing about self-esteem is that it makes possible true humility."
"There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed. If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude."
-- Robert Brault
"To inspire awe in anyone should serve to inspire embarrassment in ourselves."
"The first thing to suspect in people who admire us is poor judgment."
"The best thing about self-esteem is that it makes possible true humility."
"There is no such thing as gratitude unexpressed. If it is unexpressed, it is plain, old-fashioned ingratitude."
-- Robert Brault
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Thoughts on Finding Opportunity
"Never mind searching for who you are. Search for the person you aspire to be."
"We find things where we look for them, which is why I never look for a golf ball out of bounds."
"Do not look to find your identity in some particular work; look to stamp your identity upon whatever work you do."
"Before you call any work menial, watch a proud person do it."
"To bemoan yesterday's lost opportunity is to lose today's."
"Who you aspire to be, pretend to be, and you will find that the world will take you for that person."
Present yourself always
As who you would be,
And that is the person
The world will see.
"We find things where we look for them, which is why I never look for a golf ball out of bounds."
"Do not look to find your identity in some particular work; look to stamp your identity upon whatever work you do."
"Before you call any work menial, watch a proud person do it."
"To bemoan yesterday's lost opportunity is to lose today's."
"Who you aspire to be, pretend to be, and you will find that the world will take you for that person."
Present yourself always
As who you would be,
And that is the person
The world will see.
-- Robert Brault
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Thoughts Wise and Otherwise
"Sometimes, in a moral struggle, we discover the right thing to do -- just as, on some cold day long ago, we discovered mittens pinned to our coat sleeve."
"Faith is a reluctance to accept a partial explanation for something fully explainable by a miracle."
"Life is full of mysteries and miracles, fewer of the first if you believe in the second."
"The human body is 60% water, which, like all water everywhere, is on an inexorable journey back to the sea."
"Everything we possess that is not necessary for life or happiness becomes a burden, and scarcely a day passes that we do not add to it."
-- Robert Brault
"Faith is a reluctance to accept a partial explanation for something fully explainable by a miracle."
"Life is full of mysteries and miracles, fewer of the first if you believe in the second."
"The human body is 60% water, which, like all water everywhere, is on an inexorable journey back to the sea."
"Everything we possess that is not necessary for life or happiness becomes a burden, and scarcely a day passes that we do not add to it."
-- Robert Brault
Monday, May 25, 2009
Three Thoughts From Friends
I want to share three thoughts that I ran across in scanning the blogs of friends today.
"Art and creativity are not about being perfect."
-- by Aileen at Chasing Light (in "Instant Wishes")
"There is a 'reality section' of the crayon box -- burnt umber, raw sienna, tan, mahogany, maize, sepia -- that boys use to color animals and buildings. And there is a 'fantasy section' --magenta, orchid, carnation, periwinkle, thistle, turquoise, mulberry -- that girls use to color fairies, unicorns and princesses."
-- by Randi at Foreign Quang (in "The Bluest Skies You've Ever Seen")
"Memorial Day.
A day to remember.
But the question has become...remember what?
Remember to grab the lifejackets on your way to the lake?
Or remember to stop for flowers on your way to the cemetery.
Remember to get charcoal for the grill?
Or remember to lower your flag to half-mast.
Remember that you signed up to bring the potato salad?
Or remember those who gave their lives so you can live yours.
-- by Liz Armbruster at In Search of the Empty Nest (in "Memorial Day")
"Art and creativity are not about being perfect."
-- by Aileen at Chasing Light (in "Instant Wishes")
"There is a 'reality section' of the crayon box -- burnt umber, raw sienna, tan, mahogany, maize, sepia -- that boys use to color animals and buildings. And there is a 'fantasy section' --magenta, orchid, carnation, periwinkle, thistle, turquoise, mulberry -- that girls use to color fairies, unicorns and princesses."
-- by Randi at Foreign Quang (in "The Bluest Skies You've Ever Seen")
"Memorial Day.
A day to remember.
But the question has become...remember what?
Remember to grab the lifejackets on your way to the lake?
Or remember to stop for flowers on your way to the cemetery.
Remember to get charcoal for the grill?
Or remember to lower your flag to half-mast.
Remember that you signed up to bring the potato salad?
Or remember those who gave their lives so you can live yours.
-- by Liz Armbruster at In Search of the Empty Nest (in "Memorial Day")
A Thought on Skepticism
"The skeptic sees God revealed in nature and doubts Him, sees God revealed in Scripture and doubts Him, sees God revealed in the worship of countless believers and doubts Him, sees God revealed even as the object of his own doubt -- and doubts Him. The skeptic has no wish to believe, for he finds in doubt a religion absolved of any requirement to prove itself, an anti-faith whose god reveals himself nowhere -- not in nature, not in scripture, not in the worship of the mass of mankind. How clever it is of skepticism, having little evidence to offer in its own support, to pose as doubt."
-- Robert Brault
-- Robert Brault
Saturday, May 23, 2009
A Day to Salute Heroes
This piece was first published on Memorial Day 1987. Its focus is Vietnam and the ambivalence about the war still prevalent in the USA at that time. Its sentiments, I believe, remain relevant today. Please see an important note at the end of the article.
I never knew Donn Sweet. He was killed in Vietnam before I met his sister Joan. We’ve been down to the Vietnam Memorial in Washington D.C., my wife and I, to hunt up his name. It’s there, not quite lost among the thousands.
In a way, I’ve become acquainted with Donn Sweet. I’ve watched him mug for photographs and cavort in home movies. I have his collection of baseball cards, passed along to me by his mother.
Several times I’ve scanned a packet of letters written by a young fellow who motored from New York to California and sent home a running account of his first excited, amused view of America.
When he died, in that forward observer post, he was unknown to me. If I hadn’t met his sister a few years later, I would not think to pause before that particular name etched on the memorial stone. It might, by chance, have been any other name.
Today we honor those who died for our country. For the purpose, we’ve moved all their birthdays to a Monday in May. We honor them as America’s war dead, and this year we haven’t forgotten to include those who died in Vietnam. We’re in a mood, as a nation, to do so.
There is unease, though, when we speak of our Vietnam dead. The questions – “What were they doing there?” “What did they die for?” – are troubling. As we celebrate Americans who gave their lives in defense of freedom, we include those who died in Vietnam – but we do so with a note of defiance in our voices.
I don’t know what Donn Sweet thought about what America was doing in Vietnam. But as to what he was doing there himself, why he took the final chance he did, what he died for – it is possible, I think, to know.
When the enemy mortar shell hit, he was alone in that observer post. It was a high ground position he had taken in mortal, hand-to-hand combat with an enemy soldier. He had deemed the personal risk necessary -- in order to direct mortar fire that would cover the pullback of the men in his platoon.
I have no doubt that he died for those men – for his friends, for the family they had become to him. He perhaps did not think beyond that – that he died also for the families of those men back home , and for other men who would live because those men lived to serve beside them.
He was trying to do there what citizen-soldiers in every war are trying to do: he was trying to end it.
He was trying to control the damage as best he could. And he was trying to not to lose his life in the process, knowing though, having thought about it, perhaps, that there is more to life than hanging on to it.
You can safely honor a person for doing something like that. You needn’t feel unease or defiance. You needn’t concern yourself about where it was: the Argonne, Normandy, Korea, Vietnam.
The first Memorial Day observances honored the dead of the Union and Confederate armies. It was not a day to celebrate victories or to trumpet ideas. It was not a day to speak of national causes.
The original purpose of the holiday is tribute enough to our soldiers who died in Vietnam – those who answer that silent muster on the green in Washington.
It is a day to salute heroes.
-- Robert Brault in The Hartford Courant
Note: In 2008, Silver Star recipient Donn Sweet became the subject of an award-winning book by his sister Evelyn Sweet-Hurd. His Name Was Donn: My Brother’s Letters from Vietnam, was one of the national USA Best Books of 2008, placing second in the category of military history to David Halberstam’s Korean War account, The Coldest Winter. His Name Was Donn is available on both amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com. My review of the book can also be found on Amazon.
I never knew Donn Sweet. He was killed in Vietnam before I met his sister Joan. We’ve been down to the Vietnam Memorial in Washington D.C., my wife and I, to hunt up his name. It’s there, not quite lost among the thousands.
In a way, I’ve become acquainted with Donn Sweet. I’ve watched him mug for photographs and cavort in home movies. I have his collection of baseball cards, passed along to me by his mother.
Several times I’ve scanned a packet of letters written by a young fellow who motored from New York to California and sent home a running account of his first excited, amused view of America.
When he died, in that forward observer post, he was unknown to me. If I hadn’t met his sister a few years later, I would not think to pause before that particular name etched on the memorial stone. It might, by chance, have been any other name.
Today we honor those who died for our country. For the purpose, we’ve moved all their birthdays to a Monday in May. We honor them as America’s war dead, and this year we haven’t forgotten to include those who died in Vietnam. We’re in a mood, as a nation, to do so.
There is unease, though, when we speak of our Vietnam dead. The questions – “What were they doing there?” “What did they die for?” – are troubling. As we celebrate Americans who gave their lives in defense of freedom, we include those who died in Vietnam – but we do so with a note of defiance in our voices.
I don’t know what Donn Sweet thought about what America was doing in Vietnam. But as to what he was doing there himself, why he took the final chance he did, what he died for – it is possible, I think, to know.
When the enemy mortar shell hit, he was alone in that observer post. It was a high ground position he had taken in mortal, hand-to-hand combat with an enemy soldier. He had deemed the personal risk necessary -- in order to direct mortar fire that would cover the pullback of the men in his platoon.
I have no doubt that he died for those men – for his friends, for the family they had become to him. He perhaps did not think beyond that – that he died also for the families of those men back home , and for other men who would live because those men lived to serve beside them.
He was trying to do there what citizen-soldiers in every war are trying to do: he was trying to end it.
He was trying to control the damage as best he could. And he was trying to not to lose his life in the process, knowing though, having thought about it, perhaps, that there is more to life than hanging on to it.
You can safely honor a person for doing something like that. You needn’t feel unease or defiance. You needn’t concern yourself about where it was: the Argonne, Normandy, Korea, Vietnam.
The first Memorial Day observances honored the dead of the Union and Confederate armies. It was not a day to celebrate victories or to trumpet ideas. It was not a day to speak of national causes.
The original purpose of the holiday is tribute enough to our soldiers who died in Vietnam – those who answer that silent muster on the green in Washington.
It is a day to salute heroes.
-- Robert Brault in The Hartford Courant
Note: In 2008, Silver Star recipient Donn Sweet became the subject of an award-winning book by his sister Evelyn Sweet-Hurd. His Name Was Donn: My Brother’s Letters from Vietnam, was one of the national USA Best Books of 2008, placing second in the category of military history to David Halberstam’s Korean War account, The Coldest Winter. His Name Was Donn is available on both amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com. My review of the book can also be found on Amazon.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Advice You Won't Get Elsewhere
"Never look back. Someone might be trying to pass you a baton."
"Seek happiness first where you had it last."
"When there isn't sufficient reason for happiness, exaggerate."
"Remember that it's never too late, especially when it would otherwise be too late."
"And don't forget to stop and smell the roses, although not necessarily while fleeing an advancing column of Brazilian army ants."
-- Robert Brault
"Seek happiness first where you had it last."
"When there isn't sufficient reason for happiness, exaggerate."
"Remember that it's never too late, especially when it would otherwise be too late."
"And don't forget to stop and smell the roses, although not necessarily while fleeing an advancing column of Brazilian army ants."
-- Robert Brault
Thursday, May 21, 2009
More Thoughts of a Wandering Mind
"Statistics are unclear as to how many marriages have been saved by memories of a lavish wedding."
"Love is the most common cause of marriage, marriage the most common result."
"Failure is the insufficient foresight to have a fuzzy enough goal."
"The human species is made up of seven billion subspecies each consisting of one specimen."
"Perception is a clash of mind and eye, the eye believing what it sees, the mind seeing what it believes."
"To use a baseball analogy, seeing your kids safely into their beds at night is a home run, at least 6000 of which are required to get you into the Parenting Hall of Fame."
"As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around."
-- Robert Brault
"Love is the most common cause of marriage, marriage the most common result."
"Failure is the insufficient foresight to have a fuzzy enough goal."
"The human species is made up of seven billion subspecies each consisting of one specimen."
"Perception is a clash of mind and eye, the eye believing what it sees, the mind seeing what it believes."
"To use a baseball analogy, seeing your kids safely into their beds at night is a home run, at least 6000 of which are required to get you into the Parenting Hall of Fame."
"As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around."
-- Robert Brault
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Wisdom in Rhyme (Mostly Rhyme)
A Poem Missing the Word Woulda
A nod,
a bow,
and a tip of the lid
to the person
who coulda
and shoulda
and did.
A Short Rhyme With a Longish Title
Do what you must,
And your friends will adjust.
More Common Sense From Mom
O, how much wiser I would be
If I could sit me on my knee
And pat myself upon the head
And say the words my mother said.
"My son," she said, so lovingly,
"You mustn't sit you on your knee.
You'll dislocate your lower back
And strain your sacroiliac."
A Poem I've Posted Before (And Am Now Posting Again)
Being loved by all is little fun
Unless you're also loved by one.
Words to Remember to Footnote When Judging Who People Are.
Always when judging
Who people are,
Remember to footnote
The words "So far."
-- Robert Brault
A nod,
a bow,
and a tip of the lid
to the person
who coulda
and shoulda
and did.
A Short Rhyme With a Longish Title
Do what you must,
And your friends will adjust.
More Common Sense From Mom
O, how much wiser I would be
If I could sit me on my knee
And pat myself upon the head
And say the words my mother said.
"My son," she said, so lovingly,
"You mustn't sit you on your knee.
You'll dislocate your lower back
And strain your sacroiliac."
A Poem I've Posted Before (And Am Now Posting Again)
Being loved by all is little fun
Unless you're also loved by one.
Words to Remember to Footnote When Judging Who People Are.
Always when judging
Who people are,
Remember to footnote
The words "So far."
-- Robert Brault
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
More Thoughts on Art and Artists
“The painter needs all the talent of the poet, plus hand-eye coordination.”
“O, how much simpler things would be
If eyes could paint or brush could see.”
"It is a shame to see in the work of an artist the limitations of his critics."
"An art critic is someone who hopes to see his ideas translated to canvas without having to learn how to paint."
"Every great painting is left incomplete at the point where its completion is obvious."
“In the great artist you see daring bound by discipline and discipline stretched by daring.”
"There is in art the notion of less is more, which is to say, you don’t torture a painting that has already confessed. "
"Abstract art is a fundamental distrust of the theory of reality concocted by the eyes."
Make Your Own Quote:
"There is in every artist's studio a scrap heap of discarded works in which the artist's [select from list] prevailed against his [select from list]."
Word List:
hand
eye
brush
imagination
daring
discipline
talent
other
-- Robert Brault
“O, how much simpler things would be
If eyes could paint or brush could see.”
"It is a shame to see in the work of an artist the limitations of his critics."
"An art critic is someone who hopes to see his ideas translated to canvas without having to learn how to paint."
"Every great painting is left incomplete at the point where its completion is obvious."
“In the great artist you see daring bound by discipline and discipline stretched by daring.”
"There is in art the notion of less is more, which is to say, you don’t torture a painting that has already confessed. "
"Abstract art is a fundamental distrust of the theory of reality concocted by the eyes."
Make Your Own Quote:
"There is in every artist's studio a scrap heap of discarded works in which the artist's [select from list] prevailed against his [select from list]."
Word List:
hand
eye
brush
imagination
daring
discipline
talent
other
-- Robert Brault
Monday, May 18, 2009
Thoughts Light, Bright and Preposterous
"Happiness is an effect whose cause, most often, is happy people."
"Love makes anything possible, including living with a person who never stacks a dishwasher the same way twice."
"One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, 'Bless you.'"
"Here's a What If -- What if man were required to educate his children without the help of talking animals."
"There are people who whoop when they sneeze, and people who say "achoo," into a tissue, and they are usually seated side by side in tourist class."
"Did you hear? There's a new drug called proboscistwin that you can take to grow a second nose. As a side effect, it relieves nasal congestion. People who do not wish to relieve nasal congestion should not take proboscistwin."
"Insurance company actuaries have now confirmed P.T. Barnum's observation -- there's someone born every minute who will buy life insurance at $6.95 per unit."
"And there's a new drug out for erectile dysfunction. The only apparent side effect is a tendency to make mountains out of molehills."
-- Robert Brault
"Love makes anything possible, including living with a person who never stacks a dishwasher the same way twice."
"One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, 'Bless you.'"
"Here's a What If -- What if man were required to educate his children without the help of talking animals."
"There are people who whoop when they sneeze, and people who say "achoo," into a tissue, and they are usually seated side by side in tourist class."
"Did you hear? There's a new drug called proboscistwin that you can take to grow a second nose. As a side effect, it relieves nasal congestion. People who do not wish to relieve nasal congestion should not take proboscistwin."
"Insurance company actuaries have now confirmed P.T. Barnum's observation -- there's someone born every minute who will buy life insurance at $6.95 per unit."
"And there's a new drug out for erectile dysfunction. The only apparent side effect is a tendency to make mountains out of molehills."
-- Robert Brault
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Thoughts That Must Last Until Monday
"Our pets know well that they are loved less than our children but, alas, they have no sense that their need is less."
"Do I give in to temptation too easily? Well, let's just say that the devil has not had to resort to waterboarding."
"Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it."
"Some say the world will end by fire, some say by ice, some say by a simultaneous crash of MySpace and Facebook."
"I wonder -- do we succeed as parents if we shield our kids from the hard lessons of life that will make them successful parents?"
-- Robert Brault
"Do I give in to temptation too easily? Well, let's just say that the devil has not had to resort to waterboarding."
"Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it."
"Some say the world will end by fire, some say by ice, some say by a simultaneous crash of MySpace and Facebook."
"I wonder -- do we succeed as parents if we shield our kids from the hard lessons of life that will make them successful parents?"
-- Robert Brault
Friday, May 15, 2009
The Kind Lie Versus the Unkind Truth
I did not suppose, when I wrote the following line, that I was saying anything especially controversial:
“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.”
-- or when I reiterated the view in this line:
“When a friend needs consolation, nothing will keep so well until tomorrow as the truth.”
But twice I have seen the first line debated in internet chatrooms, the verdict each time being that telling a falsehood is always bad, opening a Pandora’s Box to all manner of disaster. How do I respond to this? I respond by coming down coming squarely on the side of kindness. I believe this puts me on the side of the God of both testaments of the Judaeo-Christian tradition, – the God who gave us the Ten Commandments and the God who gave us the Sermon on the Mount.
To my ear, the commandment against lying seems to have been carefully crafted to exclude the lie of kind intent: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” The God of Moses had no trouble with clarity. He was explicit in saying “Thou shalt not kill” and “Thou shalt not steal,” these being clear assaults against one’s neighbor. But had He said, “Thou shalt not lie,” his law might have been construed to condone an assault of truth against one’s neighbor. Instead, His commandment puts the emphasis clearly on the consideration of our neighbor’s welfare. The short form of the commandment is not “Thou shalt not lie” but “Thou shalt not harm thy neighbor by thy word.” It is a corollary to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”
In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ spoke of those “who say all manner of evil against you falsely.” He did not condemn those who say all manner of good of you, in the interest of your welfare, be it false or otherwise. Here is the God who reduced the commandments to two: Love thy God and Love thy neighbor. In giving us the beatitude, “Blessed are the merciful…,” did He intend to exclude from the merciful those who bend the truth so as not to hurt their neighbor?
I think of it this way – there is a distinction between the facts that we discern as truth, and the Eternal Truth which is God Himself, to whom our only allegiance is owed, and who has provided us the model of kindness and understanding that should inform our lives. And so, for myself at least, the rule is simple:
“Love thy neighbor, and if it requires that you bend your understanding of the truth, the Truth will understand.”
“Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.”
-- or when I reiterated the view in this line:
“When a friend needs consolation, nothing will keep so well until tomorrow as the truth.”
But twice I have seen the first line debated in internet chatrooms, the verdict each time being that telling a falsehood is always bad, opening a Pandora’s Box to all manner of disaster. How do I respond to this? I respond by coming down coming squarely on the side of kindness. I believe this puts me on the side of the God of both testaments of the Judaeo-Christian tradition, – the God who gave us the Ten Commandments and the God who gave us the Sermon on the Mount.
To my ear, the commandment against lying seems to have been carefully crafted to exclude the lie of kind intent: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” The God of Moses had no trouble with clarity. He was explicit in saying “Thou shalt not kill” and “Thou shalt not steal,” these being clear assaults against one’s neighbor. But had He said, “Thou shalt not lie,” his law might have been construed to condone an assault of truth against one’s neighbor. Instead, His commandment puts the emphasis clearly on the consideration of our neighbor’s welfare. The short form of the commandment is not “Thou shalt not lie” but “Thou shalt not harm thy neighbor by thy word.” It is a corollary to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”
In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ spoke of those “who say all manner of evil against you falsely.” He did not condemn those who say all manner of good of you, in the interest of your welfare, be it false or otherwise. Here is the God who reduced the commandments to two: Love thy God and Love thy neighbor. In giving us the beatitude, “Blessed are the merciful…,” did He intend to exclude from the merciful those who bend the truth so as not to hurt their neighbor?
I think of it this way – there is a distinction between the facts that we discern as truth, and the Eternal Truth which is God Himself, to whom our only allegiance is owed, and who has provided us the model of kindness and understanding that should inform our lives. And so, for myself at least, the rule is simple:
“Love thy neighbor, and if it requires that you bend your understanding of the truth, the Truth will understand.”
-- Robert Brault
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Our Resident Cynic Comments on Politics
"You will know that politicians are in full control when justice is no longer admissible in a court of law."
"A politician is always surprised to have his integrity challenged, having never realized that his integrity was even involved."
"Politicans are divided between those who cannot resist temptation and those who no longer require it."
"The difference between embarking on a political career and embarking on a criminal career is the formal announcement."
"Just as reasonable people can disagree, unreasonable people can agree,often forming a political party."
"No political party has a monopoly on truth, in the same way that no lynch mob has a monopoly on justice and no hedgehog a monopoly on table manners."
"The difference between a politician and a pickpocket is that ... but there I go again, splitting hairs."
-- Robert Brault
"A politician is always surprised to have his integrity challenged, having never realized that his integrity was even involved."
"Politicans are divided between those who cannot resist temptation and those who no longer require it."
"The difference between embarking on a political career and embarking on a criminal career is the formal announcement."
"Just as reasonable people can disagree, unreasonable people can agree,often forming a political party."
"No political party has a monopoly on truth, in the same way that no lynch mob has a monopoly on justice and no hedgehog a monopoly on table manners."
"The difference between a politician and a pickpocket is that ... but there I go again, splitting hairs."
-- Robert Brault
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Spring Clearance on Thoughts. Everything Must Go!
10% Off!
"Nothing we feel entitled to ever comes to us in sufficient abundance to make us happy."
"We have a choice every day -- to act on yesterday's good intentions or get an early start on tomorrow's regrets."
"A vacation trip is one-third pleasure, fondly remembered, and two-thirds aggravation, entirely forgotten."
"When the government's official pollster gets chased off the front porch with a shotgun, does that count as Approve or Disapprove?"
"I've just completed a state-sponsored therapy program for adults weighed down by the pressures of home and business. For three days, you get to be treated just like a child again. It's called jury duty."
50% Off. No Returns.
"Poets gush about the freshness of early morn, but it's always struck me as much nothing about a dew."
"Porridge is something that in England is eaten and in rural America makes all the lights go out."
"Let's say, for the sake of argument, two people get married -- although why wouldn't they join a debating society."
"Sometimes, opportunities are missed, as when the rabbi, the priest and the minister make it to the lifeboat, but the jokewriter drowns."
-- Robert Brault
"Nothing we feel entitled to ever comes to us in sufficient abundance to make us happy."
"We have a choice every day -- to act on yesterday's good intentions or get an early start on tomorrow's regrets."
"A vacation trip is one-third pleasure, fondly remembered, and two-thirds aggravation, entirely forgotten."
"When the government's official pollster gets chased off the front porch with a shotgun, does that count as Approve or Disapprove?"
"I've just completed a state-sponsored therapy program for adults weighed down by the pressures of home and business. For three days, you get to be treated just like a child again. It's called jury duty."
50% Off. No Returns.
"Poets gush about the freshness of early morn, but it's always struck me as much nothing about a dew."
"Porridge is something that in England is eaten and in rural America makes all the lights go out."
"Let's say, for the sake of argument, two people get married -- although why wouldn't they join a debating society."
"Sometimes, opportunities are missed, as when the rabbi, the priest and the minister make it to the lifeboat, but the jokewriter drowns."
-- Robert Brault
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thoughts on Art and Photography (Sort Of)
"To the artist, the Book of Genesis is an account of six days in which God suggested some really good ideas. "
"On the sixth day, God created the artist, realizing no doubt that He had far from exhausted the uses of color."
"Art is an attempt to understand, yielding pleasure in the attempt whether or not we understand."
"If somewhere could be found a photograph of Adam and Eve, it would finally settle the debate between creationists and evolutionists as to who created photography."
"That portion of reality that can be composed within a frame can be understood."
-- Robert Brault
"On the sixth day, God created the artist, realizing no doubt that He had far from exhausted the uses of color."
"Art is an attempt to understand, yielding pleasure in the attempt whether or not we understand."
"If somewhere could be found a photograph of Adam and Eve, it would finally settle the debate between creationists and evolutionists as to who created photography."
"That portion of reality that can be composed within a frame can be understood."
-- Robert Brault
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thoughts on Optimism and Hope
"The optimist realizes that when everyone seems to doubt you, it's really just everyone you've met so far."
"It's still possible to be a cockeyed optimist these days -- you just have to be a little more cockeyed."
"No one was ever called an impractical dreamer without a strong measure of envy."
"Happiness is life served up with a scoop of acceptance, a topping of tolerance and sprinkles of hope, although chocolate sprinkles also work."
"It is possible at any age to discover a lifelong desire you never knew you had."
-- Robert Brault
"It's still possible to be a cockeyed optimist these days -- you just have to be a little more cockeyed."
"No one was ever called an impractical dreamer without a strong measure of envy."
"Happiness is life served up with a scoop of acceptance, a topping of tolerance and sprinkles of hope, although chocolate sprinkles also work."
"It is possible at any age to discover a lifelong desire you never knew you had."
-- Robert Brault
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thoughts on People and Pets
"Psychologists now recognize that the need in some people to have a dozen cats is really a sublimated desire to have two dozen cats."
"A cat, after being scolded, goes about its business. A dog slinks off into a corner and pretends to be doing a serious self-reappraisal."
"A dog is man's best friend; a cat is man's best formal acquaintance."
"If you could breed a dog to a cat, you would have man's best accomplice."
"A cat is a philosophical creature, never seen to cry over spilt milk."
"Human nature: the occurrence of animal instincts in humans."
-- Robert Brault
"A cat, after being scolded, goes about its business. A dog slinks off into a corner and pretends to be doing a serious self-reappraisal."
"A dog is man's best friend; a cat is man's best formal acquaintance."
"If you could breed a dog to a cat, you would have man's best accomplice."
"A cat is a philosophical creature, never seen to cry over spilt milk."
"Human nature: the occurrence of animal instincts in humans."
-- Robert Brault
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Mother's Day Thoughts About You Know Who
"Leading the applause for us is a person who wonders how much more we might have accomplished if she had taken more calcium in the first trimester."
"A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don't even have."
"Pity the mom who, when her kids feel they have earned her respect, hands out unconditional love. "
"Mom does not limit her hopes for us to her expectations, nor does she limit her encouragement to her hopes."
"Mom knows in her heart that if she is ever done with us, then nature is done with her."
-- Robert Brault
"A mom forgives us all our faults, not to mention one or two we don't even have."
"Pity the mom who, when her kids feel they have earned her respect, hands out unconditional love. "
"Mom does not limit her hopes for us to her expectations, nor does she limit her encouragement to her hopes."
"Mom knows in her heart that if she is ever done with us, then nature is done with her."
-- Robert Brault
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Eight From the Archives
"If we do not feel a bond with the animals who share with us this moment in eternity, then we do not comprehend eternity."
"In these days of shaken trust, it's great to have a dog. For one thing, you can be reasonably sure he's not running a Ponzi scheme."
"A true friend stands in your shadow and thinks it shade."
"There is no doubt that the Creator intentionally left behind clues to His identity. Question is, does He wish to be found -- or stopped."
"It always seems too late to do what we most wish to do -- until we realize that there is not enough time left to do anything else."
"Too often, in our pursuit of happiness, we pursue what is already in our reach, reaching for what is already in our grasp."
"We tend to give leeway to our first-born, knowing he or she is the one we practiced on."
"For every person you can trust, there was first a child who was trusted."
-- Robert Brault
"In these days of shaken trust, it's great to have a dog. For one thing, you can be reasonably sure he's not running a Ponzi scheme."
"A true friend stands in your shadow and thinks it shade."
"There is no doubt that the Creator intentionally left behind clues to His identity. Question is, does He wish to be found -- or stopped."
"It always seems too late to do what we most wish to do -- until we realize that there is not enough time left to do anything else."
"Too often, in our pursuit of happiness, we pursue what is already in our reach, reaching for what is already in our grasp."
"We tend to give leeway to our first-born, knowing he or she is the one we practiced on."
"For every person you can trust, there was first a child who was trusted."
-- Robert Brault
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
A Few Updates to my Personal Profile
I have no vices, but I have several virtues the devil approves of.
Sloth is the only one of the Seven Deadly Sins I still have energy for.
I figure if the Lord had wanted me to see the sunrise, He would have scheduled it later in the day.
I keep having this nightmare where they open my coffin and find me lying alive in a pool of embalming fluid.
I never got an 'A' in Self-Esteem. Back then, it was a 'D' in Conduct.
I think people unfit for marriage should marry each other.
I think the nighttime TV soaps have too much explicit sex and not enough explicit gender.
I think that there's a lot of selfishness that goes on under the name of minding your own business.
I think that all good people go to heaven. Religion is about preferred parking.
I think that being snubbed is better than getting no attention at all.
I have never met anyone who wanted to save the world without my financial support.
I've read where the body cells completely replace themselves every seven years, which means I've already been ten different people, all with a tendency to leave a putt short.
I've observed that there are more lines formed than things worth waiting for.
I always stay in the closed lane as long as I can, and I always veer to the right at toll plazas.
I've always wondered if, when a computer dies, the operating system goes to heaven.
I've always wondered what people do in southern California when they aren't fleeing their homes.
I have never figured out why a restaurant has a STEP UP sign on the way in and then just thinks you'll remember it on the way out.
-- Robert Brault
Sloth is the only one of the Seven Deadly Sins I still have energy for.
I figure if the Lord had wanted me to see the sunrise, He would have scheduled it later in the day.
I keep having this nightmare where they open my coffin and find me lying alive in a pool of embalming fluid.
I never got an 'A' in Self-Esteem. Back then, it was a 'D' in Conduct.
I think people unfit for marriage should marry each other.
I think the nighttime TV soaps have too much explicit sex and not enough explicit gender.
I think that there's a lot of selfishness that goes on under the name of minding your own business.
I think that all good people go to heaven. Religion is about preferred parking.
I think that being snubbed is better than getting no attention at all.
I have never met anyone who wanted to save the world without my financial support.
I've read where the body cells completely replace themselves every seven years, which means I've already been ten different people, all with a tendency to leave a putt short.
I've observed that there are more lines formed than things worth waiting for.
I always stay in the closed lane as long as I can, and I always veer to the right at toll plazas.
I've always wondered if, when a computer dies, the operating system goes to heaven.
I've always wondered what people do in southern California when they aren't fleeing their homes.
I have never figured out why a restaurant has a STEP UP sign on the way in and then just thinks you'll remember it on the way out.
-- Robert Brault
Monday, May 4, 2009
How to Know When You've Licked the Smoking Habit
In the 70’s I wrote short humor pieces for an AP Newsfeature distributed to newspapers in the USA. My limit was 250 words, and the result was a very tight writing style where every sentence had to count – no lead-in, no filler material, each sentence intended to be a small entertainment in itself. Here is a piece written in 1973.
THE SMOKING HABIT LICKED
Your clothes smell heavily of clothing. Your den is filled with low-hanging palls of fresh air. The only rattle in your car is the sound of toll change in the ashtray. The absence of telltale tobacco stains on your shirt collar tells the tale – you’ve licked the smoking habit.
You take down a picture from your living room wall and there is no visible rectangle where the picture used to be. The world outside your window no longer looks as though viewed through a negative – like a scene from The Godfather. Your teeth are so white that your dentist has recommended a yellowing agent – to tone down the glare.
It’s hard to tell how much you’re not smoking – two or three packs a day, judging from the savings. You’ve bought a Rolls, an ocean-going yacht and are putting three neighborhood kids through college. You employ your former tobacconist doing odd jobs around the yard.
Your doctor tells you you have the lungs of three-year-old – named Secretariat. He cautions that you’re getting entirely too little nicotine for your own good. Says you might consider taking nicotine injections, unless you want to live forever. You wouldn’t mind living forever. You’ll consider it – for starters.
-- Robert Brault in AP Newsfeatures
THE SMOKING HABIT LICKED
Your clothes smell heavily of clothing. Your den is filled with low-hanging palls of fresh air. The only rattle in your car is the sound of toll change in the ashtray. The absence of telltale tobacco stains on your shirt collar tells the tale – you’ve licked the smoking habit.
You take down a picture from your living room wall and there is no visible rectangle where the picture used to be. The world outside your window no longer looks as though viewed through a negative – like a scene from The Godfather. Your teeth are so white that your dentist has recommended a yellowing agent – to tone down the glare.
It’s hard to tell how much you’re not smoking – two or three packs a day, judging from the savings. You’ve bought a Rolls, an ocean-going yacht and are putting three neighborhood kids through college. You employ your former tobacconist doing odd jobs around the yard.
Your doctor tells you you have the lungs of three-year-old – named Secretariat. He cautions that you’re getting entirely too little nicotine for your own good. Says you might consider taking nicotine injections, unless you want to live forever. You wouldn’t mind living forever. You’ll consider it – for starters.
-- Robert Brault in AP Newsfeatures
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Thoughts on Childhood
Thoughts after reading Liz's Happy May Day (Not Mayday)
We can all bring to mind the image of the young cancer patient with the shaved head and the wide luminous eyes and the uncannily grown-up acceptance of it all. In this heartbreaking figure, we see a child's innocence already replaced by the philosophical solaces of the care-ridden adult. It seems often, in this situation, that the child has become the adult and the parents the children, the child wanting nothing more than to protect the parents from the harshness of reality.
We learn something about childhood from this example -- that it is not a birthright bestowed by nature nor a function strictly of age but a gift that one generation bestows on another. In the normal circumstance, it is a gift that we parents give to our children. Childhood is an illusion we fabricate for their happiness. It is not just the fiction of Santa Claus we create, or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy -- we create for their happiness the fiction of childhood itself. It extends to summer evenings chasing fireflies and carefree days by the lake -- fictions made possible by parents who do not permit the dark shadow of reality to disturb the innocence of their kids.
I would offer a few isolated thoughts on the subject.
"Childhood is an illusion fabricated by parents for the happiness of their kids."
"Childhood ends when we realize that Santa Claus is make-believe and the monster in the closet is for real."
"We do not realize how fragile our childhood was until it becomes our turn to play the grown-up."
-- Robert Brault
We can all bring to mind the image of the young cancer patient with the shaved head and the wide luminous eyes and the uncannily grown-up acceptance of it all. In this heartbreaking figure, we see a child's innocence already replaced by the philosophical solaces of the care-ridden adult. It seems often, in this situation, that the child has become the adult and the parents the children, the child wanting nothing more than to protect the parents from the harshness of reality.
We learn something about childhood from this example -- that it is not a birthright bestowed by nature nor a function strictly of age but a gift that one generation bestows on another. In the normal circumstance, it is a gift that we parents give to our children. Childhood is an illusion we fabricate for their happiness. It is not just the fiction of Santa Claus we create, or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy -- we create for their happiness the fiction of childhood itself. It extends to summer evenings chasing fireflies and carefree days by the lake -- fictions made possible by parents who do not permit the dark shadow of reality to disturb the innocence of their kids.
I would offer a few isolated thoughts on the subject.
"Childhood is an illusion fabricated by parents for the happiness of their kids."
"Childhood ends when we realize that Santa Claus is make-believe and the monster in the closet is for real."
"We do not realize how fragile our childhood was until it becomes our turn to play the grown-up."
-- Robert Brault
Friday, May 1, 2009
Thoughts of Hope and Rejuvenation
"Sometimes in tragedy we find our life's purpose -- the eye sheds a tear to find its focus."
"A senseless tragedy remains forever tragic, but it's up to us whether it remains forever senseless."
"Toss your dashed hopes not into a trash bin but into a drawer where you are likely to rummage some bright morning."
From an aunt, long ago: "Death has come for me many times but finds me always in my lovely garden and leaves me there, I think, as an excuse to return."
As a rule, it's a good idea to do whatever you would do if you didn't think it was too late."
"Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie -- not perfect but who's complaining?
-- Robert Brault
"A senseless tragedy remains forever tragic, but it's up to us whether it remains forever senseless."
"Toss your dashed hopes not into a trash bin but into a drawer where you are likely to rummage some bright morning."
From an aunt, long ago: "Death has come for me many times but finds me always in my lovely garden and leaves me there, I think, as an excuse to return."
As a rule, it's a good idea to do whatever you would do if you didn't think it was too late."
"Family life is a bit like a runny peach pie -- not perfect but who's complaining?
-- Robert Brault
Thoughts of a Wandering Mind
"Stored away in some brain cell is the image of a long-departed aunt you haven't thought of in 30 years. Stored away in another cell is the image of a pink pony stitched on your first set of baby pajamas. All it takes to get that aunt mounted on the back of that pony is to eat a hunk of meatloaf immediately before going to bed."
"The sinner and the repenter are the original division of labor, both expert in their specialities."
"Most people plan to get to heaven by faith or forgiveness, which leaves a small niche opportunity for someone observing the Ten Commandments."
"You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike."
"No matter how carefully we plan our lives, three things have a way of falling out of the blue -- our life's work, our life's partner and our life's purpose."
Is it possible to be the villain of your own life story? Here are symptoms to look for:
1. You find yourself frequently saying, "Curses, foiled again."
2. You wear a highly-starched handlebar mustache.
3. You are frequently mistaken for the late Harvey Korman.
-- Robert Brault
"The sinner and the repenter are the original division of labor, both expert in their specialities."
"Most people plan to get to heaven by faith or forgiveness, which leaves a small niche opportunity for someone observing the Ten Commandments."
"You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike."
"No matter how carefully we plan our lives, three things have a way of falling out of the blue -- our life's work, our life's partner and our life's purpose."
Is it possible to be the villain of your own life story? Here are symptoms to look for:
1. You find yourself frequently saying, "Curses, foiled again."
2. You wear a highly-starched handlebar mustache.
3. You are frequently mistaken for the late Harvey Korman.
-- Robert Brault
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