Friday, May 14, 2010

Ten Ways to Ace Your Judgment Day Interview

1. Be on time.


2. Tell the Lord you've heard a lot about heaven and like what you hear.


3. Be neat, alert, make direct eye contact.


4. Don't stare at the beard.


5. When the Lord speaks, lean forward, look interested.


6. Be familiar with the Lord's background. ("I really liked your Ten Commandments.")


7. Be clear on where you want to be in five years.


8. Be honest about personal flaws. ("I tend to be too forgiving.")


9. Do not hesitate to underscore qualifications. ("I go to church every Easter.")


10. Make it clear that you'll accept the standard benefits package.


~~ Robert Brault

29 comments:

khushi said...

Wow! This makes it so simple. But I'm always nervous at interviews...any tips on that? :)Thanks Robert for sharing. I'm gonna use it in one of my training programs...with your permission of course.

Marlene said...

Love it and all good points to keep in mind no matter "who" the interview is with.

Sue said...

I LOVED it and didn't fid it irreverent in the least. Just plain funny!

=D

Maxie said...

The title drew me over to your site even though I should be cleaning something right now... Thanks for the chuckle.

Maria said...

Hi Robert!
Do you think there's such a thing as a 'bad first impression' with God?
If so...
My guardian angel is going to have to tell me to be there five minutes earlier than the invitation really says...
since I'm always five minutes late everywhere!

;o)

Enjoy a beautiful weekend!
The northeast is getting a good one!
Thanking God ahead of time!
~Maria

Raj said...

Long back I read somewhere that one should try to be altruistically selfish! Simply delighted to see the wisdom you continue to impart in such a relaxed way Robert "Make it clear that you'll accept the standard benefits package" Grateful

Robert Brault said...

khushi, Marlene, Sue, Maxie, Maria, Raj,

Please forgive a group response on this one. I'm grateful for your comments, but I should warn you that it encourages me to keep reposting old items. I knew that newcomers here seldom look past the first page, but I didn't guess that a third-time posting would be new to so many "regulars." I once defined a blog archive as a safe place to store nuclear secrets, and it may be no exaggeration. I confess that I, too, am guilty of not exploring the archives of friends. I wonder what gems lie in the far-back reaches of yours, especially you artists and writers. Think I'll find out.

smiles,
rb

Anonymous said...

Very meaningful and helpful if I get that far?

Maria said...

Last year at this time, my blog was pretty new... and I remember posting about the robins that nested on our porch and in our trees... This year, it's pretty quiet, I miss them!

Robert, your quotes are indeed like gems...
and just like fine jewelry, they deserve to be 'taken out of their boxes' and enjoyed frequently!

Robert Brault said...

Anon,
Not only will you get that far, but as a fellow in Connecticut once said, "Remember that the Lord is a loving Father, and you will come before Him as the apple of His eye."

Maria,
That post -- the robins in the porch corners -- was the first I saw when I discovered your site and introduced myself. That was a lucky day for me; you've been a good friend.

smiles,
rb

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your kind words. You are truly a gifted writer. I don't read you writings all that often, but I do have you bookmarked. I came across some of your writing in the "Quote Garden" and drop in from time to time to read your latest effort.

salu said...

relieved on the standard benefit package reservation upon your very prudential coaching class....and hope no mishaps in due course.
rgrds,
salu.

Robert Brault said...

Anon,
From "time to time" is the most I can ask of anyone's attention, and I appreciate yours.

Salu,
"No mishaps in due course" -- a modest enough hope.

smiles,
rb

Mutheu, Kenya said...

This is funny! I'll try and keep them in mind.

Robert Brault said...

Mutheu, Kenya
Thanks. I'll probably get to try them out before you do. Will let you know if they work.

smiles,
rb

Kanchan said...

Robert, I am lucky that you are the first person whom I am following. And I have learnt alot on the first day. Hope we will learn by sharing each others thought.

Smiles,
Kanchan

Robert Brault said...

Kanchan,
Thanks, and welcome to the blogging world.

smiles,
rb

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Judgement Day - all that will matter is what Chrsist Jesus says of you. Only Jesus, the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6)

Paula Z. said...

Your words...so funny, so smart...between the lines, humility and humanity and a heart, i would bet, so true.

Thank you.

Robert Brault said...

Anon,
Whatever gets you through the day, my friend.

Paula Z,
Thank you and welcome. I am not quite the paragon you picture, but I try.

smiles,
rb

Anonymous said...

:) Enjoyed the 10 Aces. I've been going thro' some rough times recently...and I believe that God sends me an angel each day, to help me thro' each day. U are my angel today. For reminding me that though I may not have the bonus, I've still got my 'standard benefits package!' Thank you and God bless.
Deborah

Robert Brault said...

Deborah,
Thank you. Glad to be of help, although Scripture does not mention an angel named Robert.

smiles,
rb

Anonymous said...

:) rb,
U r an angel... no doubt!! There are quite few devils, that Scripture doesn't name either. But I have ample proof that they exist! Met quite a few of them down the years.....
God bless!
Deborah.

Robert Brault said...

Deborah,
"There are quite a few devils that Scripture doesn't name." Love it! You have the soul of a lost poet.

smiles,
rb

Stella said...

hahahaha This is funny

Mallow said...

I do have a blog of my own but it is very very far away from the topics. But i do follow this as a means of inspiration and quotes during confused times and this fun article really makes a great day.

Robert Brault said...

Mallow,
Glad you enjoy. Good luck with your blog.

smiles,
rb

Vicky Hunt said...

I love it! I will share this, IYDM. :)

Robert Brault said...

Vicky, welcome. Honored to have you share.

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