Given the time of year, I thought I'd resurrect this piece from the archives. It was written some years ago (before the age of digital photography.)
My wife and I have just returned from a family vacation, and we have some wonderful photos. Actually, the ones of me are awful, but the ones of everyone else are great. My wife says that the ones of her are awful, but the ones of me are great. Her mother, who vacationed with us, called up to say that she has some great photos – except for the ones of her, which are awful. Our daughter called to say that she has scissored herself out of all her photos. They’re awful, she says -- but she has some great ones of the rest of us.
It’s funny how everyone thinks the photos of themselves are awful, and the photos of everyone else are great. It’s probably because we think we look so goofy in the photos, when to everyone else, that’s the way we always look. That’s the thing about vacation photos – everyone looks just the way they always do, except you. You look like someone who got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and wandered into the photograph.
How many times have you looked at a photo of yourself, thinking you might slip it under the couch cushion, when someone looks over your shoulder and says, “That’s great of you.” That’s what people do – they look at a photo of you that might have been taken by the coroner’s office, and say, “You look good in that.” Makes you want to find a really rotten photo of them and say, "That is sooooo good of you." But you can't find a rotten photo of them. They all look great.
Personally, I have this thing in group photos where I’m the only one saying cheese. Everyone else has a broad happy smile on their face, or else they’re poking each other and giggling, or mugging for the camera. And I’m standing there saying cheese.
Our neighbors just vacationed with their kids, and they have some great photos. There’s one of their 5-year old standing on the beach, next to a giant sand castle, looking proud as can be. I said to him, “That’s a great photo of you.” He looked at the photo and screwed up his face like you wouldn’t believe. “That's awful,” he said.
-- Robert Brault
16 comments:
Great story..to start my day:O) Love your humor.
PS.(Posted 2 more of your quotes this morning...long night..insomnia...quoting you..my cure.)
Ariana,
Were it not for you, I doubt that folks would appreciate the dirty old man in me. My thoughts, it turns out, are not only wise and amusing -- but voluptuous.
smiles,
rb
Oh so funny, and oh so true! I always think my pictures make me look ....um, a bit overweight! I'll say, "OMG! This picture is just awful! I don't really look like this, do I?" And my wonderful husband always replies with the correct answer, "Of course not, honey!" :D
So true, Robert! In fact, we just had family photos taken at the beach and, true to form, they are great of everyone else and just awful of me.
Go figure.
=)
your post made alot of sense. we usually think that photos of ourselves are no good. I fall into that category. rose
Becky, Sue, Rose,
I have to tell you -- I mean, no kidding -- you all look great in your photos here. I just hope you can look at mine and keep your food down.
smiles,
rb
Voluptuous thoughts?....you...really? :O)If this is true... My work here is done!
Seriously,thanks for being such a good sport about the use and depictions I do of your quotes.Quite honestly I think your thoughts are wise..amusing...voluptuous...as well as... Brilliant!(Blushing now?)
very true LOL
You are too funny! Yep, I'm keepin' my food down, too! :)
I always thought my photos were awful, especially on the driver's license. But I have been training myself to appreciate my face and this year I relaxed and smiled for the DL photo, and it turned out pretty good. Pleased I showed it my friend. She said, "Oh, don't worry honey, my driver's license pictures always turn out bad too!" :o(
Ariana,
Kidding aside, your depictions are a continuing delight to these old eyes.
Anon,
Come out, come out, whoever you are.
BECKY,
Reminds me of a parody I did in the 70's of TV's handicapped detectives:
Ironside, the detective who couldn't walk
Longstreet, the detective who couldn't see
Upchuck, the detective who couldn't keep his food down.
Maxie,
Now THAT's funny -- an angle that never would have occurred to me. Speaking of DL photos, here's a daffynition from my early days:
Driver's License Photo: the LikeNess Monster.
smiles all,
rb
Signing your latest comments with "Smiles all" is perfect, because every one of them indeed made me smile!
"You look like someone who got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and wandered into the photograph" Such a delight to see the beautiful picture you have presented of this awful situation, that we all face - at least occasionally !Thanks heaps Robert
BECKY,
Thanks, but as you'll see from my post today, I'm back to eliciting wistful sighs as opposed to smiles.
Raj,
What's really alarming is that I look my best in the middle of the night, having gotten up to go to the bathroom.
rb
I do agree... most of the pictures of me.. I thought it's awful... I thought it's only me who thinks so... It seems almost everyone...:P
Anon,
With me, it's not just awful photographs. I don't reflect all that well in mirrors, either.
smiles,
rb
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