"Some have been to the mountain. I have been to my knees by the side of my bed."
"An embarrassing silence is always broken by the least self-confident person in the room."
"Everything worth knowing was first known by someone who had to find it out for himself."
"Always telling the truth is no doubt better than always lying, although equally pathological."
"Someday a computer will give a wrong answer to spare someone's feelings, and man will have invented artificial intelligence."
"In imagining an ancient world of dinosaurs, science has discovered that people will accept the preposterous if you name it Prepostersaurus."
"Ever wonder what life form might be indicated by dinosaur bones if you ruled out dinosaurs?"
"Most people who believe in always telling the truth also believe in using good judgment. You just wonder when they would use it."
"People who insist on instant gratification inevitably come to define gratification as anything that is instant."
"You can teach a robot to always tell the truth. It's harder to teach a robot to tell white lies."
"Man will have replicated his own intelligence not when he teaches computers to reason but when he teaches computers to deny reason."
The most interesting part of Judgment will be when the Lord says, "So much for the harm you did to defy me. Now let us examine the harm you did to glorify me."
"To believe that God has spoken to you personally requires no more credulousness than to believe that He has spoken to anyone else."
"I have never met anyone who has spoken to the Lord except for the purpose of relaying instructions from the Lord to me."
"As an optimist in the year 2010, I can only assume that going to hell in a handbasket is part of a larger plan."
~~ Robert Brault
Monday, December 27, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
New Year's Eve With Some New Acquaintances
This piece first appeared in my local paper and was then distributed by the Washington Post – Los Angeles Times syndicate through much of the USA.
NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH SOME NEW ACQUAINTANCES
For many years, my wife and I have saved an empty champagne bottle from each New Year’s Eve celebration.
These old Korbels and Andres and Taylors sit dust-covered in a corner of our basement. Occasionally, when I’m in the mood to reminisce, I’ll go downstairs and wipe the dust from the labels.
“Byron Drive, 1990” – the place and year are always in my handwriting. I’m the one who gets the ball rolling each year, the one who starts the empty bottle around so that everyone can sign it.
Scattered over the label are the scrawled names: “Curt…Nancy…Don…Sybil.” These are the friends and acquaintances who shared our celebration that New Year’s Eve.
The signing of champagne bottles started as a whim, but we kept it up over the years. I’m glad we did. There’s a story in these old bottles that is not told in any of our family photo albums. They capture a thread in our lives that might otherwise be lost.
The memories they hold are not, for the most part, of family or even long-time friends. Fittingly, they are memories of old acquaintances.
In most years, the labels tell us, we have spent New Year’s Eve with people we’ve known only a short while. We’ve raised a glass with new neighbors, colleagues on new jobs, members of community and social groups we’ve just joined.
Only a few of these relationships have survived the years. The names on the labels keep changing.
It’s curious how the milestones of our lives can be tracked in the changing names on these bottle labels: new jobs, new neighborhoods, new interests and commitments. They’re like the logbook of a journey. And they’re a reminder of something that lately we’ve forgotten – that there’s a valued part of our lives that has always been measured in acquaintanceship.
In recent years, there have been fewer names on the labels, and they are often the same names. We’ve taken to spending New Year’s Eve with a few close friends. We’ve settled down, become less active; we’re not into acquaintanceship these days.
If these recent labels are a logbook, it appears they are logging a journey’s end. This bothers me. When I compare these recent labels to earlier ones that are covered with so many names, I feel a sense of loss.
It saddens me to think of those old acquaintanceships that we carelessly let go. And it saddens me to realize that we have let a part of our life’s journey shrink away – the part that was charted in our new acquaintanceships.
Recently we joined a new group for the first time in years. We’re going to celebrate New Year’s Eve with acquaintances this year. We’ve invited our friends to join us. There should be room on the champagne bottle for everyone’s name – if we all write small.
~~ Robert Brault
NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH SOME NEW ACQUAINTANCES
For many years, my wife and I have saved an empty champagne bottle from each New Year’s Eve celebration.
These old Korbels and Andres and Taylors sit dust-covered in a corner of our basement. Occasionally, when I’m in the mood to reminisce, I’ll go downstairs and wipe the dust from the labels.
“Byron Drive, 1990” – the place and year are always in my handwriting. I’m the one who gets the ball rolling each year, the one who starts the empty bottle around so that everyone can sign it.
Scattered over the label are the scrawled names: “Curt…Nancy…Don…Sybil.” These are the friends and acquaintances who shared our celebration that New Year’s Eve.
The signing of champagne bottles started as a whim, but we kept it up over the years. I’m glad we did. There’s a story in these old bottles that is not told in any of our family photo albums. They capture a thread in our lives that might otherwise be lost.
The memories they hold are not, for the most part, of family or even long-time friends. Fittingly, they are memories of old acquaintances.
In most years, the labels tell us, we have spent New Year’s Eve with people we’ve known only a short while. We’ve raised a glass with new neighbors, colleagues on new jobs, members of community and social groups we’ve just joined.
Only a few of these relationships have survived the years. The names on the labels keep changing.
It’s curious how the milestones of our lives can be tracked in the changing names on these bottle labels: new jobs, new neighborhoods, new interests and commitments. They’re like the logbook of a journey. And they’re a reminder of something that lately we’ve forgotten – that there’s a valued part of our lives that has always been measured in acquaintanceship.
In recent years, there have been fewer names on the labels, and they are often the same names. We’ve taken to spending New Year’s Eve with a few close friends. We’ve settled down, become less active; we’re not into acquaintanceship these days.
If these recent labels are a logbook, it appears they are logging a journey’s end. This bothers me. When I compare these recent labels to earlier ones that are covered with so many names, I feel a sense of loss.
It saddens me to think of those old acquaintanceships that we carelessly let go. And it saddens me to realize that we have let a part of our life’s journey shrink away – the part that was charted in our new acquaintanceships.
Recently we joined a new group for the first time in years. We’re going to celebrate New Year’s Eve with acquaintances this year. We’ve invited our friends to join us. There should be room on the champagne bottle for everyone’s name – if we all write small.
~~ Robert Brault
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
For Becky and Tiger Girl
Many of you know Becky Povich, a good friend of this blog and an effervescent presence on the internet through her own wonderful blog, "Becky Povich * Writer - Humorist - Bliss Follower*". The other day, Becky wrote of the sudden loss of her dog Tiger Girl, a friend and companion of 14 years. I've collected a few thoughts, old and new, to offer by way of consolation to Becky and in recognition of the role of a faithful pet in our lives.
(I've turned off the comments button on this one but encourage you to visit Becky's blog by clicking the link above.)
"The difference between a dog and a person is that when you earn a dog's love, you get it."
"A friend we allow into our company, a pet we allow into our solitude."
"My dog and I have enjoyed many a silence together, a conversation always resumed exactly where left off."
"In time I put away childish things, and my dog, ever faithful, put away puppy things."
"Exile a man to a desert island, allowing him only his dog, and in time his self-image will conform to his dog's opinion of him. This explains why Napoleon came back for one more shot at emperor."
If there's a look that breaks your heart, it's the look in a dog's eyes that says, "I would gladly be your soulmate, if I only had a soul."
"If it is true that a dog harbors no hope of salvation, then which of us is the nobler friend."
"She was only a dog, which is to say, just another friend who always came running when I whistled."
~~ Robert Brault
(I've turned off the comments button on this one but encourage you to visit Becky's blog by clicking the link above.)
"The difference between a dog and a person is that when you earn a dog's love, you get it."
"A friend we allow into our company, a pet we allow into our solitude."
"My dog and I have enjoyed many a silence together, a conversation always resumed exactly where left off."
"In time I put away childish things, and my dog, ever faithful, put away puppy things."
"Exile a man to a desert island, allowing him only his dog, and in time his self-image will conform to his dog's opinion of him. This explains why Napoleon came back for one more shot at emperor."
If there's a look that breaks your heart, it's the look in a dog's eyes that says, "I would gladly be your soulmate, if I only had a soul."
"If it is true that a dog harbors no hope of salvation, then which of us is the nobler friend."
"She was only a dog, which is to say, just another friend who always came running when I whistled."
~~ Robert Brault
Thursday, December 9, 2010
A Final Grab Bag for 2010
"At the point where hope would otherwise become hopelessness, it becomes faith."
"To know that any creature, man or animal, lives in fear of you is a condition intolerable to a person of noble spirit."
"At my age, you not only have bittersweet memories, you make bittersweet plans."
"I don't know where my journey will take me, but I know that my body is 60% water, and like all water everywhere, it is on an inexorable journey back to the sea."
"I swear that if it weren't for having to shake hands first, most Americans today would come out fighting."
"Eventually the person who tries to fix the problem will be blamed for causing it."
"Okay, let's just say that everybody's at fault but nobody's to blame and get on with it."
"As a reward for giving birth, we get to raise our kids. It must be a reward, because as a punishment, it seems unduly harsh."
"A dollar in my granddad's day is worth ten dollars in today's money. You wonder what his code of ethics is worth in today's morals."
The word "education" comes from the word "educe," which means to "draw out." So much of teaching is the opposite, a "pounding in" of facts, rules and methods. But there are moments magical to a teacher, moments of true "education," when the teacher engages a child's cognition -- and finds recognition.
"I don't know how my parents did it, but they always had me believing that they would be much more lenient with me if they were not constrained by family policy."
"As a man, I've learned that there is nothing easier in married life than pleasing your wife with your cooking."
"A relationship becomes easier when you realize that you don't have to be the one at fault to be the one who's sorry."
It's always hard to admit blame. As Eve said to Adam, "Mistakes were made."
Overheard in a Washington D.C. church confessional: "Bless me father, for sins have been committed."
A Happy Holiday Season To All!
~~ Robert Brault
"To know that any creature, man or animal, lives in fear of you is a condition intolerable to a person of noble spirit."
"At my age, you not only have bittersweet memories, you make bittersweet plans."
"I don't know where my journey will take me, but I know that my body is 60% water, and like all water everywhere, it is on an inexorable journey back to the sea."
"I swear that if it weren't for having to shake hands first, most Americans today would come out fighting."
"Eventually the person who tries to fix the problem will be blamed for causing it."
"Okay, let's just say that everybody's at fault but nobody's to blame and get on with it."
"As a reward for giving birth, we get to raise our kids. It must be a reward, because as a punishment, it seems unduly harsh."
"A dollar in my granddad's day is worth ten dollars in today's money. You wonder what his code of ethics is worth in today's morals."
The word "education" comes from the word "educe," which means to "draw out." So much of teaching is the opposite, a "pounding in" of facts, rules and methods. But there are moments magical to a teacher, moments of true "education," when the teacher engages a child's cognition -- and finds recognition.
"I don't know how my parents did it, but they always had me believing that they would be much more lenient with me if they were not constrained by family policy."
"As a man, I've learned that there is nothing easier in married life than pleasing your wife with your cooking."
"A relationship becomes easier when you realize that you don't have to be the one at fault to be the one who's sorry."
It's always hard to admit blame. As Eve said to Adam, "Mistakes were made."
Overheard in a Washington D.C. church confessional: "Bless me father, for sins have been committed."
A Happy Holiday Season To All!
~~ Robert Brault
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Thoughts Mostly of Love
"If you've never experienced the magic of love, what part of abracadabra don't you understand?"
"Love is not a difficult concept. If you can understand living in a parallel universe, you can understand being in love."
"If you could find happiness by abandoning those you love, exactly what would you do with it?"
"Not everything I do each day is out of love or a promise made, but I make it a point to get those out of the way first."
"Can you have a feeling of responsibility toward those you love? I don't think so. It's either a feeling of responsibility or it's love."
"While debating the question, what is love, yield to all desperate desires to make someone happy."
Pardon if I get a bit personal...
"Even though you're 100% sure that the woman you love will be there for you in a moment of need, it's still one of the greatest feelings in life when the moment comes and there she is."
"I love my wife, and I desperately want to make her happy, but she happens to be a woman you want desperately to make happy whether you love her or not."
Some miscellaneous throw-ins...
"If you keep your happiness under lock and key, where do you keep your unhappiness?"
"I have a simple role model. Each morning I gaze at the eastern horizon, and if the sun keeps its promise, I keep mine."
"I suppose I could limit my actions to those which yield me personal profit, but why would I wish to limit my actions?"
"My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year."
~~ Robert Brault
"Love is not a difficult concept. If you can understand living in a parallel universe, you can understand being in love."
"If you could find happiness by abandoning those you love, exactly what would you do with it?"
"Not everything I do each day is out of love or a promise made, but I make it a point to get those out of the way first."
"Can you have a feeling of responsibility toward those you love? I don't think so. It's either a feeling of responsibility or it's love."
"While debating the question, what is love, yield to all desperate desires to make someone happy."
Pardon if I get a bit personal...
"Even though you're 100% sure that the woman you love will be there for you in a moment of need, it's still one of the greatest feelings in life when the moment comes and there she is."
"I love my wife, and I desperately want to make her happy, but she happens to be a woman you want desperately to make happy whether you love her or not."
Some miscellaneous throw-ins...
"If you keep your happiness under lock and key, where do you keep your unhappiness?"
"I have a simple role model. Each morning I gaze at the eastern horizon, and if the sun keeps its promise, I keep mine."
"I suppose I could limit my actions to those which yield me personal profit, but why would I wish to limit my actions?"
"My health plan doesn't cover dental, so I enrolled my teeth as 32 dependents, each needing a complete physical once a year."
~~ Robert Brault
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