And Pilate said to Christ, "You are charged with unlawful doing under others as you would have them do unto you."
"These are not only the good old days you will one day recall, but they are the prehistoric times future creationists will say never existed."
"I'm not sure that Armageddon is at hand, but I suspect that we're pretty close to the end of a 2000-year gap in the biblical record."
"Sadder than the pretense that an unborn child never lived is the pretense that it never died."
"And so continues my lifelong search for a religion that will accept me as a heretic."
"The insane person believes with certainty what the rest of us merely suspect."
"To be happy though poor is not only possible but fervently wished for us by our relatives."
"Most of us don't need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with."
"Often the thing lacking in a father-son relationship is a little old-fashioned nepotism."
"Every mother knows how to play the single mom and does so exactly to the extent her marriage requires."
"All we ask of mom is to rejoice when we find someone in life who can make us happier than she can."
"Always keep your home presentable, assuming you keep a home for purposes of presentation."
"Most gardens are a triumph of nature over too much watering, as are most grown children."
"Every scientific discovery is an exercise in reverse engineering, invariably cited as proof that there was no original engineer."
"Either evolution or intelligent design can account for the athlete, but neither can account for the sports fan."
"Are your kids unruly or is it normal child behavior? Don't ask me. They're your rules."
"The shortest distance between two points assumes you know where you're going."
"To become wealthy, you must not only find the road to riches, but you must not meet an investment advisor along the way."
"I see by the papers that ignorance of math is growing by geometric progression, whatever that is."
~~ Robert Brault