At the end, the Alzheimer’s had left his mother a lost, old woman who would sit all day in her geriatric chair staring off into the distance. He would visit her at the church home and sit by her side, trying his best to lure the old light back into her eyes, hoping to see for just a moment the spark of recognition that would sometimes reappear out of the blue.
On their last day together she was particularly feeble, and the afternoon had been long with silence. He had turned sadly to leave when he felt her hand reach for his. When he looked back into her eyes, they were soft and alive, and he could see that his mother recognized him. He felt her hand tighten around his. She leaned close and said, in words just above a whisper, “There was a woman in the check-out line who thought you were the most beautiful baby.”
That was all. Soon her eyes went dull, and there was no elaboration, and he knew that none would come. The next morning, the call came from the home, and they told him that his mother had died in the night.
In the years that followed he thought often about his mother’s last words to him and about the woman in the check-out line. She was in his thoughts when he wrote, “Sometimes the most lasting memory is of the smallest kindness,” and again, “There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the pleasure bestowed by a small compliment.”
There was a woman once who took a moment to compliment a young mother on her baby. Did she ever think again of her kind gesture? Did she imagine that her words would be carried in another person’s memory for a lifetime? Did she guess that fifty years later, a dying old woman, searching her crippled memory for words to console a grieving son, would say to him, “There was a woman in the check-out line who thought you were the most beautiful baby.”
~~ Robert Brault
47 comments:
Bob, this reminded me of my grandmother, oh how I missed her laughter and her sweet voice...and how I wish I still have my mom around too. Thanks for this wonderful short story...very inspiring!!!
A wonderful message.
Just lovely, Robert.
=)
I really enjoyed reading the posts on your blog. I would like to invite you to come on over to my blog and check it out. God bless, Lloyd
What a beautiful story, Robert. We never know the true weight of our words...or just how powerful they can be. Those two quotes are going on my fridge today and I will forever remember this beautiful story with them.
Robert, that was so well written...powerful, too. I wish I had been a few minutes quicker in arriving at my Mother's bed the day she died. I sat gazing at her face and holding her hand in the desperate hope she might open her eyes and smile at me...or squeeze my hand in recognition of my voice. It has always been such a regret, because she had done just that to my sisters an hour before my arrival.
It's uncanny the way we remember small, kind words and deeds all our lives. I'm grateful for such people.
Did you know the woman?
Losing someone to Alzheimer's is a tough journey... So is losing a mom. I cried uncontrollably when you recalled the last day with your mom.
Maybe I'm more emotional than normal, having had a fourth baby just over a week ago, not having had my mom here for the first time. Her last words to me were in excited anticipation of getting to see each other that afternoon. We never did.
Thanks for sharing your story - it is very special.
Beautiful... Thank you for that...
Really beautiful. Alzheimer's is ugly and this really made me realize how important our words and associations with others can be.
Made my day today - and it's my BD, so it was already a lovely day but this was frosting on the BD cake. Thank you!
This is one of the reasons why we should strive to spread smiles around us and not bad feelings. I bet the nice lady never imagined what you said - that her words ment so much for a happy mother. Neither she could imagine that her words would make many of your readers shed a tear and think of their long lost mothers today.
My mother's last words to me were 'please promise you won't remember me like that'. And I could not keep that promise, as I DO REMEMBER her all the time, in so many different moments of my life and of her life. And the period when she was as she said "no longer herself" (brain metastasis), she was as helpless as a child and our roles were reversed for a while. But my love for her and her love for me were same, if not even growing with every minute of suffering.
And, as everything in life, it passed and her soul was released and she stopped suffering. And now the lady in the check-out line brought a pile of memories back.
Hugs and tears,
G.
Robert, I swear, you are a genius. Brilliant! Beautiful! Poignant! What language can I borrow, my dear friend, to adequately express my awe and admiration for your beautiful thoughts? (Someone else started the question. and no matter how swept away I get I will not become a plagiarist!) I haven't figured out how to post to your site and identify myself as someone other than anonymous. But I am proud to be one of your "followers." I haven't yet figured out whether you are a poet, a philosopher, a theologian, or what. You leave me at a loss for words, but I truly appreciate and admire your terse, on-targect, succinct and wise words. donkimrey
Post script: Art thou, perchance, the beautiful bay what got dropped on his head?
baby. I meant to say "baBY." Shades of heck it out!
Tooth Fairy (Wina),
Thank you. I have a grandmother story I will be sharing soon.
Whitey,
Thank you -- and welcome!
Sue,
An especially appreciated word from one who writes so many lovely things.
Lloyd,
Thanks for the visit. I'll return it as soon as I can.
Patti,
My simple goal in life is to be on everybody's fridge. Thank you.
Ken,
I too have regretted not being ay my mother's bedside when she passed. The fateful decision was to put her in the home, a decision so difficult for every family. No, I don't know who the woman in the checkout was -- a complete stranger I have always thought.
Ilse,
It sounds like you have a story of your own. Congratulations on your fourth child. I was the third of four boys, perhaps one reason my mother felt I could use a little bolstering.
Kathi,
Thanks for kind words.
Jan,
Heartfelt wishes for a great birthday. I know that 39 can be a traumatic milestone.
Georgina,
Your words strike home with me because I do pretty much remember my mother as she was at the end. Not sure why, except that I've noticed before that my childhood memories are more of places and things than of people, including my mom and dad. Hmmm.
Don/Anon,
I'm a poet, philosopher, theologian and a problem when I'm stoned (apologies to kris kristofferson). Actually I was dropped on my right elbow and have been able ever since to predict the imminent arrival of cold fronts.
smiles all,
rb
Beautiful and thought provoking. I've tried hard lately to reach out and say kind things to people, even though I'm afraid they'll think I'm odd. They never do, by the way. And I've seen many people light up like a Christmas tree just because I told them they had beautiful eyes. No one ever has a day so good that they couldn't use a compliment or a kindness.
Your story made me cry. There are no "nice" diseases, but ones that attack the mind are particularly cruel because that's where you live. How lovely that your mother could pull out one final loving,motherly gesture to bestow on you.
Karen, thank you for your beautiful comment. Sometimes it doesn't even take a word. Throw me a smile, and I'll get to thinking that I'm a pretty likable fellow, after all.
smiles,
rb
Robert, Random acts of kindness. "O" would that they were a scourge upon the earth... :o)
P.S. I hope you caught that smile?? :o)
thank you for this post, you will probably never know the kindness that you shared with it, as I sat with my own mother last night, searching for the beautiful lady that is being taken from us with a brain tumor...
Thanks again for this small kindness :o)
Being a mom and often pondering how my final days will end, I found this extremely powerful and touching. I think regardless of our mental capabilities, our hearts will alway hold our loved ones close - and recognizable. Thank you for sharing this.
Mr. Daddy,
Smile caught. Most of the good in writing (and blogging) is to remind people that all human experiences are shared. My heartfelt best to you and "the beautiful lady."
Anon,
Your words, "...our hearts will always hold our loved ones close -- and recognizable" sum up the hope of the species -- that there is a spirit within that transcends the physical. Thank you.
smiles both,
rb
Dearest Robert, What a lovely memory to have after the heartbreak that is Alzheimer's. I lost my Dad to this terrible disease almost 7 years ago (On my moms birthday).
I work in a grocery store Robert. Although I am in my office most of the day I enjoy interaction with my customers...One never knows whose life can be touched by just a few kind words. I know going forward I will think of this story every time I see a baby....or a pair of vacant eyes.
I know what it feels like to have someone you love look at you...without recognition. It's painful. I also had a moment similar to the one you wrote about. Just hours before his passing our entire family surrounded him with Love. My most poignant memory was seeing my mother bend down and kiss the lips of her husband for what turned out to be the the very last time...and when I said I love you Daddy....He faintly said I love you. There was that tiny moment when I knew...Dad was still somewhere...in there.
There is a song my brother Peter sings and plays on his Martin written by John Prine. "Hello in there"....Every time I hear it I am reminded of my dad...and it brings me to tears. Never pass up a chance to make little babies laugh...and old people smile.
Not sure if you are able to access the link through here...but I am going to share the song. Copy and Paste it....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_PbfxNsdZs
Thank you Robert..for sharing this post.
You brought tears to my eyes, thank you!
Robert, I'm "supposed" to be on a Blog-a-Vacation, but I can't help myself when it comes to reading your blog. This was very beautiful and powerful as I'm sure the other comments say. Thank you for sharing it.
Ariana, the John Prine song is lovely. Thank you for acquainting me with it. The recollection of your dad's passing will touch many hearts, I know, the more because it is a memory so many of us share. Thanks one more time for giving life and meaning to my words.
kelly,
Really appreciate your taking a moment to comment. I guess there's a bit of "The Woman in the Checkout Line" in you.
Becky,
Your comment adds so much to the pleasure I'll find in occasionally revisiting this post. Thank you.
smiles all,
rb
Bob,
My 87 year old Mother lives with us and I sadly watch pieces of her memory slip away each day. On days when I am overwhelmed trying to balance time with her, time with my husband, and time with our children and grandchildren, I can read your words and everything falls into place again. Thank you for the inspiration you share with all of us.
GrammyK,
Thanks so much. The comments on this post are every bit as inspiring as the post itself. There is great consolation in knowing that so many have shared the same experience.
smiles,
rb
This reminded me of Daddy who would always quote and re-quote a compliment for me, even when I was a mom of grown-up kids. He'd tell me about an old man, who he met while taking me for a walk, on his arm:I was only ten months. The man said,"She is beautiful and she is going to be great one day." His eyes would be filled with pride and joy as he'd look at me, and sometimes I felt at these moments that he was seeing that chubby little girl on his arm! But, I still remember it and I feel so good. Thank you for such a powerful post.
khushi,
The words I said just above, to GrammyK, certainly apply to your comment. I suspect that many of us have heard of such an incident from our parents or hold such a memory ourselves. If there is a lesson here, it is that a small compliment is a a great gift no matter what the occasion for it.
smiles,
rb
With tears in my eyes I read this. I have no other words.....thank you.
ByNana, your brief comment entirely sufficient. Thank you.
I know I can always come here, to your blog and find something I need when I'm in need....If that makes any bit of sense.
Makes perfect sense, kristie. So pleased to have you here.
Oh, it's beautiful. Thank you Robert. Beautiful.
Thank you, Kavey.
Hi Robert, I'm a new follower of your blog, So I was just wondering if this piece was fact or fiction? Anyway it's a heart-warming,. and thought-provoking, thank you for sharing your creative mind.
sweetabaca
Thanks -- and welcome. Although I cleverly hide myself in the third person, the piece is a true recollection of my final visit to my mom. The sayings in the next-to-last paragraph are ones that I've posted here before.
smiles,
rb
This was like my Gram.
I just cried.
Thankyou, it was precious. :-)
Jennifer,
Thank you. Every time I get a comment or letter like yours, I re-read the piece and cry, too.
smiles (and tears),
rb
I just happend to come across this blog and soo many of the quotes touched my heart... but this one just made my heart melt..
Alesha,
Thank you -- and welcome.
smiles,
rb
Thanks for sharing this story, very emotional to read but hits my heartstrings. Robert, I have just found you today. I seem to be struggling with a miscarriage I just had last week and need some words to help me keep on moving forward...do you have any for me? Please & thank you (((tears))))
-lost
I am so sorry for this tragedy in your life. If there is consolation, it must come from knowing that others have shared such sorrow and have recovered to find joy and happiness in their lives. You may yet have beautiful children, and I pray you do, but even if you do not, you must realize that we all exist in a cycle of relentless restoration and renewal, a cycle in which the spring returns, flowers bloom, and the sun shines warms upon the skin. Those who go before us lead the way, and who knows what divine purpose resides in a child conceived but never born.
"Child lost, sometimes in dreams
I wander in an endless night,
When, lo, a tiny hand takes mine,
And leads me to the morning light."
smiles,
rb
I cried as I read your reply...the pain is still raw, tomorrow will be one week our baby left my womb. Our littlest angel will forever be in our hearts. Your words sunk into my heart and moved me. Yes, Mr. Brault I have been blessed with a beautiful baby girl 11 years ago...therefore, this was a miracle after so long trying to concieve. So I know I am lucky, however, the loss still broke my heart. My husband has been so supportive & our rock, but when he is gone & me & my thoughts are alone, it is hard. Just like waking up every morning & going to sleep, they are the hardest times of the day. I do believe time will heal my heart. Just as in your story your words will be carried with me! I thank you from my broken heart. I was finding it difficult to find quotes on miscarriage and coping, but I thank God I found you & your kind words. THANK YOU.
Yvette
-lost (Yvette),
In the wake of tragedy, emotional solace is hard to come by -- words are not enough -- but you are right, time will heal, and in time, the anguish of the heart gives way to the need to understand. You will find that much has been written on the loss of a child. My poem, "Jessie's Piece" reflects my own intellectual accommodation to such a tragedy (although it does not describe a personal experience.) If you wish to read it, just Google "Jessie's Piece."
smiles,
rb
Thank you for this neat story. I teach in a jail and I'm always looking for thought-provoking, moving words to share with my students. I'm always looking for myself as well! Thanks for your great blog. I look forward to reading more and more as time goes by. - A fan in CA
jdeutsch,
So glad to have written something that strikes home with you. Thanks for thoughtful appreciation.
smiles,
rb
Wow words help that's why they can also destroy, the love of memories can travel the univers that was a powerful message of love
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