Ten Thoughts, Three Tips and a Near-Death Experience

Ten thoughts, some new, some twittered this past week:

"If you don't believe in miracles, God probably isn't going to waste one on you."


"It is only reality until you decide that you've put up with it long enough."


"If we are ever going to be happy, we must be happy knowing we could be happier."

 
"It is only a basic human right until it starts interrupting the flow of oil from the Middle East."


"Love your enemies, for it gets their goat."


"It is said that travel is broadening, and so I have found it -- never failing to broaden my appreciation of home."


"Never point a finger where you never lent a hand."


"A scientific fact is that tiny part of human perception that defies illogical explanation."


"When you speak, always tell the truth.  But don't always speak."


"It is a perversity of human nature to think that in order to find happiness we must abandon those who most wish it for us."



Three tips that I have found useful in life:


"When confronted by a barking dog, never turn tail and run.  The dog might mistake this for fear."

"To tell your friends from your enemies, stand at the edge of a cliff and notice which ones don't push you off."

"As a rule, you can trust people, except when you're hiding out in the witness protection program, and a guy named Tony Bananas calls out, "Olly olly oxen free."



A near-death experience:

I had this near-death experience where I met St. Peter at the pearly gates, only the pearls in the gate were cheap paste, and St. Peter was obviously wearing a false beard, and he had a pitchfork and a tail and little horns growing out of his head.  And I said, "Wait a second here..."



~~ Robert Brault