A Michaelmas Miscellany

"I hope some day to meet God, because I want to thank Him for the flowers."


"Understand this -- that nothing you feel entitled to is ever going to make you happy."


"To be happy, you must fancy that everything you have is a gift, and you the chosen, though you worked your tail off for every bit of it."


"All our lives we think happiness is a destination, only to look back and realize that it was the way."


"Once you become the mommy or daddy in your child's world, it is the only world in which you exist, no matter how much you fancy there is a separate world of your own."


"There is always sufficient reason for despair, but there is never sufficient purpose."


"What woman would not die to have a single fresh rose mysteriously appear on her grave every day?"


"The most persistent illusion in life is that we know our own intentions."


"What a blessing it is to be alone with your thoughts when so many are alone with their inability to think."


"Happiness is having a dream you cannot let go of and a partner who would never ask you to."


"A true friend sees past your excuses to the real reason it's not your fault."


Never ask, "What reason do I have to be happy?"  Instead ask, "To what purpose can I attach my happiness?"


~~ Robert Brault

A Thought for Joan Marie

"One day, in your search for happiness, you discover a partner by your side, and you realize that your happiness has come to help you search."


~~ Robert Brault

Ten Thoughts, Three Tips and a Near-Death Experience

Ten thoughts, some new, some twittered this past week:

"If you don't believe in miracles, God probably isn't going to waste one on you."


"It is only reality until you decide that you've put up with it long enough."


"If we are ever going to be happy, we must be happy knowing we could be happier."

 
"It is only a basic human right until it starts interrupting the flow of oil from the Middle East."


"Love your enemies, for it gets their goat."


"It is said that travel is broadening, and so I have found it -- never failing to broaden my appreciation of home."


"Never point a finger where you never lent a hand."


"A scientific fact is that tiny part of human perception that defies illogical explanation."


"When you speak, always tell the truth.  But don't always speak."


"It is a perversity of human nature to think that in order to find happiness we must abandon those who most wish it for us."



Three tips that I have found useful in life:


"When confronted by a barking dog, never turn tail and run.  The dog might mistake this for fear."

"To tell your friends from your enemies, stand at the edge of a cliff and notice which ones don't push you off."

"As a rule, you can trust people, except when you're hiding out in the witness protection program, and a guy named Tony Bananas calls out, "Olly olly oxen free."



A near-death experience:

I had this near-death experience where I met St. Peter at the pearly gates, only the pearls in the gate were cheap paste, and St. Peter was obviously wearing a false beard, and he had a pitchfork and a tail and little horns growing out of his head.  And I said, "Wait a second here..."



~~ Robert Brault

Thoughts, Some Newer Than Others

"There is no harder thing to give up than the thing that was supposed to make you happy."


Sign in a pet store: "It's a special friend who dispels your loneliness and leaves your solitude intact."


"You can hope for a miracle in your life, or you can realize that your life is the miracle."


"There are three dimensions of time, two of which contain happier days."


"What has always put me off about atheism is that atheists don't seem to struggle with it enough."


There is no scientific theory of the universe that sufficiently answers the question: "Who entrusted to me this child?"


"If Mother Nature wanted us to know everything, she would not, at the very peak of our intellectual curiosity, distract us with puberty."


Occasionally ask, "What do I believe that gives me no advantage over anyone?"


"To deny any truth is to begin a chain of denial that must eventually deny every truth  there is."


"As an example of my luck, I was once dealt a royal straight flush in a game of Fish."


"Give kids your trust, and they will work ten times harder to keep it than they ever would to earn it."


"I pray to God that He never makes me choose between a community heaven and a private hell."


"We don't know what heaven is like, but based on what most lottery winners do with their winnings, we know what hell is like."


"I wouldn't say I was ever possessed by the devil, but he occasionally rented a room on a Saturday night."


"Occasionally it's good to get your most trusted advisors together on a sunny day to make sure they all cast a shadow."


"If you don't decide what your life is about, it defaults to what you spend your days doing."


~~ Robert Brault

My Week on Twitter

I started posting a daily thought on Twitter this week and have realized, belatedly, that I must post them here also if they are not to disappear forever.  So here they are, along with a few odds and ends.


"If God had intended me to make excuses for who I am, He would have given me better excuses."


"There is no actual law that says that a person of inner beauty cannot also maintain an appearance."


"A relationship fails when two people start to question each other in such a way that every possible answer is a lie."


"We are each multliple personalities, trying to hide the fact by always choosing the same spokesperson."


"Two things are owed to truthfulness -- lasting marriages and short friendships."


"It comes down to whether you believe in seven miraculous escapes a week or one guardian angel."


"I have no vices, but I have several virtues the devil approves of."


"The main thing that seems to be in my genes is a strong desire for self-improvement."


"You start making progress in life when you realize that you don't always have to resume where you left off."



Greeting Cards for All Occasions:


Neighbor, just a card to say,
Wish you well, this Labor Day,
Wish you joy in everything,
Wish return of following:
--- one hedge trimmer
-- one lawn rake
...

*****

Here's wishing you a Michaelmas
That's cheerful, warm and homy,
And filled, dear pal, with mem'ries of
The fifty bucks you owe me.  


~~ Robert Brault