Tongue in cheek
"Did you hear? The Girl Scouts have announced that the entire proceeds of this year's cookie sale will be donated to the wealthy to create jobs."
"A paranoid thinks that sinister forces are out to get him, not realizing that they are out to get everybody."
"I hope for the best, since hoping for less doesn't seem to improve the results any."
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a raise."
"I don't know if people with lots of material things are the happiest, but they sure put on the best yard sales."
"You find that everything seems a little more possible at the end of a brisk three-mile walk."
"They told me the universe was uncaring, and so I stole from it every bit of happiness I could, and I discovered they were right -- it didn't care."
"If indeed the death of a child is part of a larger plan, you wonder if God ever considered a smaller plan."
"It is not necessary to be strong in every place if in the place you are vulnerable, you are loved."
~~ Robert Brault