Thoughts of an Older Fellow

"The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn’t marry me."


"Used to be that I’d wake up in the middle of the night with some bright idea.  Now I just wake up in the middle of the night."


"Old people are just like young people, except they think the accelerator is the brake."


"At my age the only way you meet new people is when you drive into their living room."


"My eyesight's gone, my reflexes are shot, and I can't stay awake, but thank God I can still drive."


There is a state of denial in old age that enables you to see yourself in a mirror and think, “There but for the grace of God go I.”


"It's my luck that every time I feel I completely comprehend God’s plan, I don’t have a pencil with me."


"Most birth parents do a pretty good job when you consider that none of them interviewed for the position."


"Eventually all the things you acquire by dishonesty are gone, and you are left with only your dishonesty."


Every mom aspires to be "The World's Greatest Mom," and by some crazy quirk in the rules of logic, most succeed.


"The way to tell you're a professional, and not an amateur, is that you don't impress your relatives."



~~ Robert Brault