One thought I tried out on Twitter this week fell pretty much flat. I still can't think of how best to phrase it, so I thought I'd ask your help. If you can come up with something that clicks, feel free to attach your name to it.
It's the idea of a mom trying to be both the sun in her child's life and the navigational north star -- the challenge of trying to provide both love and guidance and maybe providing too much of one at the cost of the other. I tried it two ways, neither of which got much reaction.
"It is a story without a villain, the parent who tried to be the north star to a child desperate for the sun."
"We forgive a mom who was not always our north star but tried always to be our sunshine."
Maybe it would better to say, "What is a mom but the sunshine of our days and the north star of our nights." What do you think?
Here are a couple of new thoughts that were better received on Twitter this week:
"So often the last place we think to look for happiness is where we left it."
"Insanity is a partial state of denial, observable in those of us unable to maintain a complete state of denial."
And a couple of oldies that were well received on Twitter:
"If you could eavesdrop on everything said about you, you'd spend most of your time waiting for the subject to come up."
"All I know about life is that it was the first thing my mom ever volunteered me for."
And, finally, I attained a bit of celebrity this week, when a character on the CBS hit series, "Criminal Minds" quoted me by name (April 11 episode):
"Worse than telling a lie is spending your whole life staying true to a lie."
~~ Robert Brault
29 comments:
Hi Robert! Congrats on the Criminal Minds mention! WOW! That is awesome!! You celebrity, you! :)
As far as the Twitter "problem" goes..I think a lot of your thoughts are so deep that many of us need to read them more than once or twice...and the Twitter folks are in too big of a hurry, twittering along...to actually do any thinking! :o (my opinion only!)
P.S. I love all of these, as usual!
"It is a story without a villain (...)" delivers the message. It's perfect.
The comfort of a mothers guidance is warmer than the sun and brighter than the North Star,
Congrats on the Criminal Minds mention! You have become a legend!
A mother's smile warms our heart just like the Sun, while her eyes steadily guide us on our own way, just like the North Star. Too bad we rarely accept and seldom recognise her second role in our life until we actually get to that point, where we have been lovingly guided to arrive.
Congrats on being quoted on TV!
Watch out for the paparazzi!
I agree with Jill.
A mother is our daily sunshine, but when storms brew she miraculously assumes the role of north star.
I do like your original two best, though. I can relate to both. Congrats on the mention on Criminal Minds! It was only a matter of time...
While a mother may not be well educated in the complexities of the North Star, she knows more about the Sun than anyone.
Personally, I liked the second on about forgiving a mom who wasn't always our north star because she was always our sunshine, as it struck me, as a mother, that while I may not always be exactly the role model I want to be for my kids (who is perfect, after all), that if nothing else I can be the one person who loves my kids unconditionally, no matter what. And sometimes, just knowing that your mom is there like that makes all the difference. I wouldn't change that one at all.
Nothing bugged me more about my Mom when I was growing up - her insistence on being a North Star when life was clear to me as daylight and I could have been happier to have simply the warmth of her love instead ; and then dissolving into the warmth of love when life's night engulfed me and I actually tried searching for that North Star. But I forgive her, because it is difficult to see anybody's inner days and nights - even those of our children.
So glad you're happy to hear from us and it will be really nice to leave comments again.
Perhaps the difficulty lies in the fact that mothers don't always feel sunny and that they are looking for direction as much as they are supposed to be giving it.
"So often the last place we think to look for happiness is where we left it.... may be where Mom was heading – North or South !Your notes provide so much so often Robert. Deeply appreciated
Sweet! Love that you got a Criminal Minds quote. The quotes is one of the things I love about that show...so now it's only gotten better. Thank you, as always, for wonderful food for thought :)
So good to hear from you, Robert. Your revised option is as good as the first...keep them both.
I doesn't surprise me to hear of you by name on national (worldwide) TV. Who else can they possibly quote?
I just have to say that the thoughts of an older fellow were absolutely hilarious.
I think only having the comments available from time to time is a good thing...it can be difficult to find time to continually respond when there are so many comments. I'll be happy for you to keep popping up for air and giving us an opportunity to say thanks.
All 3 of your 'mom as star' manifestations were good. And they all had a slightly different emphasis. I choose all 3. To improve on them would take paragraphs and I still wouldn't have made the point.
When you are quoted on 'Psych' you will know you have fully arrived :)
Thanks, all, for your wonderful responses. Some, clearly, come from deep in the heart and achieve an eloquence I can only strive for. My blog is so much richer for such responses, and I now realize what a mistake I made by shutting off comments these past few months. Ken, it was not so much to save myself the task of responding but rather to show a little mercy to the 7 or 8 of you who always faithfully comment.
I want to share with you two email responses I received.
From Sue (Susan Noyes Anderson):
"Tip for a parent trying to be the north star to a child desperate for sun: Sometimes it's enough just to shine."
From Heidi:
"Mom can light up your life/Or show you the way/But like north star or sun/Must she choose night or day?"
I think a common theme in the responses is that a parent strives to be both sun and north star, and by golly, most succeed. Of my own variations, the final one (above) probably reflects that best.
Thanks you all so much for your responses. I apologize for not acknowledging each individually.
smiles all,
rb
The mother who only offers her child the sun sees not the shadow creeping up behind her.
Cheryl,
You have the ear of a natural-born aphorist.
smiles,
rb
Thank you Robert. Nothing pleases the eye more than to read a compliment from one's mentor. I quote you often.... you are my hero.
When she's near we feel her warmth - when she's far she lights our path: mother, the star of our existence.
-Oana Hogrefe
Oana,
Really nice. Please forgive if I put it to rhyme.
Mother
She warms our heart when near,
And lights our path when far,
In all of our existence
The ever-shining star.
smiles,
rb
A Mother guides her child's journeys through life, with constant sacrifices to protect them from flying to close to the sun.
Valerie Bowler
Val,
A very nice thought, and if your sun refers to mother herself, a remarkably subtle and insightful thought.
smiles,
rb
those who write adages about the sagacity and affection of mothers neglect to inlude one like mine who attempted suicide when I was three. Generalizing leads to short-sightedness.
Anon,
... and one might say that particularizing leads to blindness.
If you wish to comment further, please use my email.
That's pretty fun! Being quoted on T.V. Never think you are done having "firsts!" Life keeps giving those unexpected experiences!
I like both your comments relating to the sun and the North Star. For your last one, though, what if it were:
"What is a mom but the North Star of our days and the sunshine of our nights?"
Chelsea, "sunshine of our nights" is a neat perspective. Not sure what "North Star of our days" would imply.
Are you saying that moms should become invisible when not needed?
smiles,
rb
I'm not so sure, either! I was going more for the "sunshine of our nights" perspective, as you pointed out, and the rest just kind of fell into place. I guess my mom was just always the one to help with homework, take care of plans, help my brother and sisters and I to explore our options- yet we were raised to be very independent. When it all comes down to it, we have the freedom of choice and we ultimately have to walk down our own path. But we have that guidance in our subconscious mind, and the literal North Star is a visual reminder that we may be alone, but not lonely. People always say to look up when you're feeling down. True, definitely look up to God or Heaven (or personal belief/preference). Sometimes it just helps to see things, though. That star up in the sky can mean what you want- follow the North Star = follow your heart = home is where the heart is- whatever. It could also mean that your mom doesn't just point you in the right direction on earth, but keeps your focus "up" toward God, if that makes sense. Look for one, find the other.
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