Comments on A Robert Brault Reader: Thoughts on Friendship, Loyalty and Duty

lawson, Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I su...

2009-11-09T04:06:05.657-08:00

lawson,

Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I subscribe to your view completely. A parent must show the way and then, what is harder, step out of the way. As you say, the job of parenting is largely about building in our kids a sense of independence and self-esteem. It is the center from which all regard for others must radiate.

I urge readers to check out your site. You offer a strongly positive message for parents and teachers.

smiles,
rb

Robert, Looking around for chapter heading quotes...

2009-11-09T01:26:55.635-08:00

Robert,

Looking around for chapter heading quotes to use in a book focusing on parenting, I found your site and read two quotes of particular interest.

“Nothing ensures that kids will misbehave like regarding everything they do as misbehavior.”

and…

“Art is about deciding what to maximize and what to minimize to maximize it.”

The former is a reflection of misguided parental expectations and the ubiquitous ‘self-fulfilling prophesy’, and the latter is as applicable to parenting, as to art. I believe when combined, they reflect the core of positive parental attitudes and expectations. I would offer the following word shuffle:

“A large part of the art of parenting is to maximize praise for effort and attitude, and minimize criticism for misbehavior and failure.”

I believe kids cannot learn to think, evaluate, and judge for themselves if constantly told what, when, and how to think; never given the opportunity to make mistakes, re-think… learn. The parent should be the primary facilitator in this arena. However, it seems too often parents are more interested in maximizing control and obedience, and minimizing independence and creativity. I once read the word kids hear most is “No”. If told often enough you cannot do something, you may come to believe it true, and never again try. Sad.

So, thanks for the thoughts, and I will be looking in on your musings periodically.

Karla, I suspect that your forebearance had more ...

2009-10-17T04:02:52.828-07:00

Karla,

I suspect that your forebearance had more to do with your own good judgment than my words, but I do appreciate your comment. Thank you.

smiles,
rb

Robert, Your quote about revenge was immensely h...

2009-10-16T21:07:47.788-07:00

Robert,

Your quote about revenge was immensely helpful to me yesterday. I was about to exact a very painful revenge (emotionally, not physically) on someone who hurt me, and after I read your words, I was moved to reconsider. I saw the error in my thinking and decided against proceeding. I would have done a lot of senseless, irreparable damage and I'm so thankful I didn't. Thank you so much for your words. They are a gift!

Karla

Don aka Anon, My comments section is wide open to...

2009-10-11T06:10:09.164-07:00

Don aka Anon,

My comments section is wide open to anyone. Wish I knew what was causing the problem.

Your book strikes me as a great idea, and the brief captions suggest that you have the turn of phrase to pull it off. I already know from our correspondence that you are a committed godseeker, so that leaves only the requirement that you be true to your title and come across with a sincere message of hope and encouragement. But you know that.

As to coming up with quotes, it won't be soon unless something pops into my head. I've had three email requests for specialized quotes just this week, and I have to decide if I can respond to such requests at all. It's an honor, but it's also overwhelming.

smiles,
rb

I swear, you must be brilliant. I believe you kno...

2009-10-10T16:17:53.792-07:00

I swear, you must be brilliant. I believe you know your sister in law has very patiently, graciously copy-edited a book on which I've been working. She's also helped me avoid some dumb mistakes. The title is God's Comeback Kids. It's about hope and forgiveness and renewal for anyone who's "messed up" and felt God & everybody else has counted them out. The "unsaintly saints" about whom I've written in the first of at least a couple installments includes Joseph (From rags to riches), Moses (Prince on the Lam), Job (From riches to rags) Peter (THE ROCK or just a pebble) and the Prodigal Son (Bad boys will be bad boys.). if you could think of something appropriate for any (or all), I would be honored if you granted permisssion for me to quote you. Don Kimrey
P.S. I'm a computer clod and had a devil of a time getting past your security. So that's why I posted as Anon. donkimrey@gmail.com

Maria, I also have memories of parochial school an...

2009-10-10T04:17:34.658-07:00

Maria,
I also have memories of parochial school and the church confessional, although no matter what sin I committed I always confessed it as "disobeying my mother," which it was.

smiles,
rb

"As candidates for the perfect friendship, I ...

2009-10-09T18:03:57.449-07:00

"As candidates for the perfect friendship, I picture two people who have emerged from a confessional, are kneeling side by side, and discover that they have been given the same penance."

Hi Robert, Hi Everybody!
I'm in a silly mood...IT'S FRIDAY!
... and my thoughts on this one are from my years in parochial school...my best friends and I coming out of the confessional... all kneeling looking at each other giggling and comparing prayers. Who had to pray more? We know what that meant!
heehee.

Ken: I am Zorro in a dress, and no one wants to cr...

2009-10-09T16:10:39.215-07:00

Ken: I am Zorro in a dress, and no one wants to cross swords with me. :)

Jamie: I have that same quote on the top of my blog! It's a classic.

Jamie, It's a delight to have you here. Welco...

2009-10-09T13:38:01.538-07:00

Jamie,
It's a delight to have you here. Welcome. I'll keep trying to say something as good as "Enjoy the little things..." but I don't promise.

smiles,
rb

Wow! What an honor to have RB comment on my blog....

2009-10-09T09:50:50.576-07:00

Wow! What an honor to have RB comment on my blog. It made my day, no, it made my week! I have fallen head over heels with your writings and quotations, particularly the one atop my blog. Not a day goes by that I don't read it and smile, slow down and truly embrace what life is all about. Thank you for your precious writings. You are amazing!

Wanda, Thanks for the vote. I've discovered t...

2009-10-09T04:39:17.671-07:00

Wanda,
Thanks for the vote. I've discovered that there is not total agreement with my views on friendship and loyalty.

Randi,
I'm very pleased that you draw from the last one exactly what I intend to say. The are many ways to say it, but, yes, it is all about perspective. Cheers.

Ken,
Ditto what I said to Randi. And flippancy is welcome here. Been accused of it all my life, although I prefer to think of it as playfulness.

smiles,
rb

Yep! The last one for me too. I thought at first y...

2009-10-09T00:22:07.607-07:00

Yep! The last one for me too. I thought at first you spelt mooing wrong and was surprised to see gull instead of cow.
Sorry for being so flippant Robert...it's the mood(there it is again) I'm in at the moment. It's a great quote and great advice.
Regards...from a distant fan.

Randi, you want revenge?? How can anyone ever want to cross swords with you.

The last one especially hit me. Puts a little bit...

2009-10-08T15:58:24.658-07:00

The last one especially hit me. Puts a little bit of perspective on everything. Sometimes we realize the revenge we want is so petty because when it comes down to it, the only thing really wounded was our pride.

I agree...friends should be able to say no to each...

2009-10-08T14:46:52.370-07:00

I agree...friends should be able to say no to each other without worry.